☙
There were plenty of cues that I was dreaming. I don't know why I ignored them. I kept waking up and assuring myself, "I'm in my own bed in my own house. I'm in my own bed in my own house. I am not lost and trapped in a really, really weird city. I am not drunk in Galveston wandering from freak bar to freak bar..." Maybe...
I kept my appointment at the arthritis clinic at the VA Hospital in Durham again. Things went swimmingly there. I got in line for the valet parking and the black dude handing out the tripartite tickets pretended to look over my car for damage and wrote down that I had a bent door on the passengers side, and that the window on the driver's side didn't work.
He told me that there were no more parking spaces in the valet parking area, and when I saw the No Parking Spaces Left by the side of the road that I had to go to the parking area behind the hospital. I had seen the sign by the entrance. So, I asked, "How do I get there?", and he said, "No, you can use the valet parking today.", and put the top part of the ticket on the dashboard of my car and handed me the other two parts.
I eventually got to pull behind the other waiting cars in from of the hospital entrance. Another black dude came toward me and told me to roll down my window and leave the key in the car. Then he asked me if my driver's side window worked, I told him it didn't, so he told me to roll the other window down. He took the ticket the other guy had handed me, tore it in half at the perforated line, handed me the bottom third of the ticket I would use to claim my car when I was ready to leave.
When I got out of the car, another young black man came up and asked me if my driver's side window was broke. I told him "Yes.", and he told me to roll the other window down, and leave the key in the car. I did just that, and walked inside the hospital.
Once inside the hospital I walked straight to the arthritis clinic, waited for another veteran in front of me to check in, and then got checked in myself by a very pleasant black woman who noticed that I have a birthday coming up. She told me to have a seat and the nurse would weigh me and check my blood pressure before the doctor would see me.
I hadn't sat there long before a plump black woman called out my name and I followed her into her office. It was the first time since I've been going to that clinic in Durham that I didn't get checked in by James, the black head nurse. I was pleased for the difference. The female nurses all seem to like me.
Once she weighed me and took my blood pressure and asked me the boiler plate questions and wrote down my answers on the check-in form I went back to the waiting area and found a seat over to the side, and immediately began meditating to pass the time. I got to theta in good time and waited for the doctor.
In what seemed like no time at all I heard my name being called, and looked up groggily, and there was my new Oriental female doctor looking for me in a rather blase mind state. I got up and followed her back to her office noticing that she's a little bow-legged. She's suspicious of me because I was rude to the former male Oriental doctor who asked their supervisor to assign me to another doctor. No blame.
I waited for her to instruct me on ever move I made. I waited until she asked me to close the door, and then I waited for her to invite me to sit down. I was excessively polite. I knew very well why she didn't trust me. I knew immediately this was going to be a brief meeting. I had brought the bottle of dope I wanted renewed, and handed it to her.
She turned straight to her computer and started reading. I sat in silence. In a few minutes she asked me to take my shoes off and sit on the table. She didn't listen with her stethoscope, but looked at my foot where I'd had the problem she had ignored on my last visit when I asked her to. She acted like it had nothing to do with the arthritis I was there for and mumbled something about me needing to see a podiatrist, but she didn't make me an appointment.
I told her I had changed my mind about the medicine I'd refused before, and she warmed up a little. My refusing the medicine was why the male Oriental doctor didn't want me back (other than the fact that I had sniggered at his claiming to be the best doctor in the hospital). She said she would submit my request for the medicine to her supervisor, but then added that I would get it in the mail. She told me I ought to wean myself off the prednisone steroids, and I agreed to, even though for the most part I'd already done that.
What surprised me about this visit was that there was hardly any line at all for waiting to get the travel pay they pay for me having to drive a two hundred mile round trip. There were only three or four people with lower numbers than me, and I got through that procedure without much hassle. Outside, while I waited for my car to be brought up, I walked back to see where to park behind the hospital, and when i got back the white lady had just driven up in my car. I'll explain why I notice the various races of the people at the VA Hospital one day.
I got enough travel money to pay for my gas and go by the health food store in the big city and buy a new supply of NAC and a different brand of probiotics. I asked the clerk who showed me where the probiotics was located which brand sold the best. He showed me a brand I was familiar with, and told me that several customers told him their doctor recommended SolarRay by name, and it was half-price, so I bought it. Of course, it only had half as many billions of "good" bacteria and half the "strains" of bacteria as the one advertised on PBS, but I'm too poor to get the good stuff in the informercials anyway.
Once I got home I went for a walk with the dogs in the back field, but I didn't walk all the way to the river. The dogs were nervous because my trigger-happy nephew was shooting his guns. He was a long way away, but it seemed to make them jittery. They stayed close by until we got about a half-mile on down into the cowless pasture, and literally kept stopping in my path to assure themselves I was there for them. Wimps.
When I got back I hesitated to use the binary beat software to meditate. I knew my brother and his wife would go out to dinner at this place that only opens on Friday nights. It makes them feel special, but it forces me to wait for them to have a good time for my brother and I to go on our walk. Actually his walk. I'd already gone and came back.
I went over a couple of days to download the Gnaural software for her to use. I had given my brother a DVD demo of binaural beats to carry to her. When I asked him if she had used it he told me she couldn't get it to work, and she had downloaded something else. I knew it was crap without asking, so I went over and downloaded the Gnaural and showed her how to use it.
She sent me an e-mail about her experience that only said, "Wow.", so I figured she had gotten to the theta state. I hesitated to use the Gnaural myself last night so we could talk about her experience a bit, but then I got miffed at having to wait for them to act like big shots for my brother and I to take "his" walk, and went ahead and did my own meditation. It's hard to go wrong with the Gnaural.
I've meditated for around fifty years now. I know what I'm looking for in a binary beat program or without it, but for a person who hasn't really gotten there using the traditional method the Gnaural software can really do the trick by demonstrating what to expect when the theta state comes on.
That's what happened while I was waiting to see the doctor at the VA yesterday. I got to theta fast because I had associated the binary beat program with my breathing from my root chakra. It's the same deal as associating the classical music with traffic jams back when I commuted fifty miles to work. Except in this case, it was a positive association.
With the classical music (Beethoven's Ninth directed by Bernstein) I played the audio tape to divert my attention from the edginess associated with getting caught in traffic jams. Eventually, without me realizing it, I couldn't listen to the Ninth without associating it with the anger of being caught up in a traffic jam, which ruined it for me as a way to relax. Associating the binary beats with my breathing worked in the same way, but beautifully.
❦
I do not attempt to tell the God's own truth here because I don't know what the truth is or hardly ever. I try to capture the drifting thoughts that randomly appear in my imagination for reasons I may not understand. I don't know if the content I capture with these words is true or false. The Comments settings are turned off to prevent me from having to defend what amounts to little more than fanciful, sometime crude speculation. Great moments in our lives never return.
Saturday, April 9, 2011
Wednesday, April 6, 2011
God Rest His Troubled Soul
☙
The dream I had fairly early last night took place inside a large dim lit room. If I hadn't been told that it was a prison I think I would have eventually figured it out anyway, even me. It looked somewhat like one of the tobacco warehouses that were around when I was a kid, except it didn't have a concrete floor to roll the baskets of tied tobacco around and arrange them in the long rows for auctioning.
The roof wasn't high like in a warehouse either. It was a very large darkish room that seemed to go on forever. Outside the room was a marijuana field, and I figured out that it was my pot smoking habit that was the prison I was a prisoner of. I smoked it on a regular basis for forty years or better. Later. I smoked pot to replace tobacco when I stopped smoking cigarettes. I only stopped smoking pot because my dealer died, and I'm too old to find another one.
I've been using the Gnaural binary beat generator to help me get a better attitude. In the past, back when I kept a hatha yoga ritual going for around twenty years, I got to this deep meditative state on a fairly regular basis, but not so much recently. Yesterday I meditated using Gnaural for four hours, and it literally took the starch out of my bad habits, and seemed to help with the arthritis pain that's come on strong lately.
I used the various tutorials associated with Gnaural to set up a sequence for attaining a delta state, and it actually worked okay for me, but it was the default sequence designed to elicit the theta state that has done the most good. The only discipline required is that I boot up the software and put the headphone over my ears. I sit in the over-stuffed chair I was given as a hand-me-down and watch my breathing until my awareness flips to theta.
Today I finally got around to cleaning the corner out where I wanted to put my digital piano . It wasn't as difficult as I speculated it to be. The corner was occupied by these wide cypress boards I've been saving to install as one wall somewhere yet to be decided. I had other lumber stashed beside my shower in the bathroom and when I put that mess in order the cypress boards fit beside that neatly.
Now, my digital piano is sitting in front of a window that looks west toward the pond at the bottom of the slope. When I sit and play the scales it's a nice green, natural area to look out at. The piano was located right behind where I sit at my computer, and I couldn't get into the room behind it without moving the desk chair which has worn out wheels and trouble to move.
I live in a very seedy rathole of a house, but it's mine. I take a lotta false pride in building my own house. I'm the only person who has lived in it besides my oldest daughter. She stayed here for about two weeks once and couldn't stand it because it was unfinished. If I was honest I might admit that it's unfinished so nobody will want to stay here but me.
The meditation I've been doing for the last few days has really changed my outlook. I sort of believe the Gnaural software program plus my new noise-canceling headphones have led me deeper into meditation than I've been by my own disciplined efforts for many years. I felt a little guilty for buying the Bose headphones because they're so expensive until today, now I'm really glad I spent the extra money. Being a natural-born miser can be painful at times.
❦
The dream I had fairly early last night took place inside a large dim lit room. If I hadn't been told that it was a prison I think I would have eventually figured it out anyway, even me. It looked somewhat like one of the tobacco warehouses that were around when I was a kid, except it didn't have a concrete floor to roll the baskets of tied tobacco around and arrange them in the long rows for auctioning.
The roof wasn't high like in a warehouse either. It was a very large darkish room that seemed to go on forever. Outside the room was a marijuana field, and I figured out that it was my pot smoking habit that was the prison I was a prisoner of. I smoked it on a regular basis for forty years or better. Later. I smoked pot to replace tobacco when I stopped smoking cigarettes. I only stopped smoking pot because my dealer died, and I'm too old to find another one.
I've been using the Gnaural binary beat generator to help me get a better attitude. In the past, back when I kept a hatha yoga ritual going for around twenty years, I got to this deep meditative state on a fairly regular basis, but not so much recently. Yesterday I meditated using Gnaural for four hours, and it literally took the starch out of my bad habits, and seemed to help with the arthritis pain that's come on strong lately.
I used the various tutorials associated with Gnaural to set up a sequence for attaining a delta state, and it actually worked okay for me, but it was the default sequence designed to elicit the theta state that has done the most good. The only discipline required is that I boot up the software and put the headphone over my ears. I sit in the over-stuffed chair I was given as a hand-me-down and watch my breathing until my awareness flips to theta.
Today I finally got around to cleaning the corner out where I wanted to put my digital piano . It wasn't as difficult as I speculated it to be. The corner was occupied by these wide cypress boards I've been saving to install as one wall somewhere yet to be decided. I had other lumber stashed beside my shower in the bathroom and when I put that mess in order the cypress boards fit beside that neatly.
Now, my digital piano is sitting in front of a window that looks west toward the pond at the bottom of the slope. When I sit and play the scales it's a nice green, natural area to look out at. The piano was located right behind where I sit at my computer, and I couldn't get into the room behind it without moving the desk chair which has worn out wheels and trouble to move.
I live in a very seedy rathole of a house, but it's mine. I take a lotta false pride in building my own house. I'm the only person who has lived in it besides my oldest daughter. She stayed here for about two weeks once and couldn't stand it because it was unfinished. If I was honest I might admit that it's unfinished so nobody will want to stay here but me.
The meditation I've been doing for the last few days has really changed my outlook. I sort of believe the Gnaural software program plus my new noise-canceling headphones have led me deeper into meditation than I've been by my own disciplined efforts for many years. I felt a little guilty for buying the Bose headphones because they're so expensive until today, now I'm really glad I spent the extra money. Being a natural-born miser can be painful at times.
❦
Tuesday, April 5, 2011
A Lender Nor Borrower Be
☙
In one of the e-mail discussion groups I used to subscribe to, an Israeli doctor came on board briefly and wrote about some tiny sea creature who was born with a brain and one big eye. When it was born it drifted around with it's movements dictated by the currents of the oceans until by some genetic design it found a rock or a reef to permanently attach itself to in order to feed off the creatures that were brought to it by those same tidal currents. As soon as it attached, it ate it's own brain because it didn't need it any more. Do you reckon this medical doctor was intuitively referencing the nomadic tribes of Israel?
I wrote the paragraph above as a response to a Comments discussion on what is apparently and openly a blog designed for Jews that will remain un-nay-me-d. I got there by clicking to 'Read more' while surfing through Google News. Once I read their irresolute crap, I offered my own sarcastic comment to the referenced article, and suggested that the solution for the problem being discussed could be resolved by burning the Torah along with the Koran like that preacher did in down Florida. That lit a little fire under the blog's readers.
The reason I was able to do that was because of this company that contracts to handle the Comments section of a growing number of web sites. This company calls itself Disqus.com (discuss, get it?). They handle the Comments section of the Engadget web site, and to make a comment on an article on Engadget, I was required to sign up with Disqus with a name and an e-mail address only.
From then on, whenever I read some article on a site whose Comments were handled by Disqus, I found myself already signed in with the handle I supplied Disqus, and ready to comment away. Lovely. How could I resist making snide and clever comments on subjects and topics I hadn't the slightest interest in?
That seems to be how this Muslim guy was the first person to respond to my comment on this Jewish blog, and he belligerently suggested I include the New Testament propaganda of the Crusaders. I wrote back and agreed all the holy books should be burned. With my new question being: How the hell did he get to Comment on a Jewish site? I went to Disqus.com to read about how they handle blogger.com discussions, and it stated that for Disqus to work on a Blogger.com site, the individual blog settings had to be marked to be open to all comers. Including, it appears, dogmatic Muslims on dogmatic Jewish sites, much less Gentiles with no careactor like me. '-)
The lovely part of this arrangement is that nobody has to subscribe to a specific blog or web site with their personal information that can be traced by power users. They only have to subscribe once to Disqus, and it's free. The individual site owners can't trace you any further than Disqus to find out if they should come kill you if you're not a member of their weird tribal religion or insane political persuasion. I hope I can trust Disqus to be confidential.
Don't get your hopes up that I will sign up for Disqus on this blog. I still don't wanna entertain your dumb ass comments about my neurotic, illiterate speculations. I'm one of those amoral, unethical people who can "give it, but not take it." I am is not, however, "proud to be an Okie from Muskogee. A place where even children have a ball..."
❦
In one of the e-mail discussion groups I used to subscribe to, an Israeli doctor came on board briefly and wrote about some tiny sea creature who was born with a brain and one big eye. When it was born it drifted around with it's movements dictated by the currents of the oceans until by some genetic design it found a rock or a reef to permanently attach itself to in order to feed off the creatures that were brought to it by those same tidal currents. As soon as it attached, it ate it's own brain because it didn't need it any more. Do you reckon this medical doctor was intuitively referencing the nomadic tribes of Israel?
I wrote the paragraph above as a response to a Comments discussion on what is apparently and openly a blog designed for Jews that will remain un-nay-me-d. I got there by clicking to 'Read more' while surfing through Google News. Once I read their irresolute crap, I offered my own sarcastic comment to the referenced article, and suggested that the solution for the problem being discussed could be resolved by burning the Torah along with the Koran like that preacher did in down Florida. That lit a little fire under the blog's readers.
The reason I was able to do that was because of this company that contracts to handle the Comments section of a growing number of web sites. This company calls itself Disqus.com (discuss, get it?). They handle the Comments section of the Engadget web site, and to make a comment on an article on Engadget, I was required to sign up with Disqus with a name and an e-mail address only.
From then on, whenever I read some article on a site whose Comments were handled by Disqus, I found myself already signed in with the handle I supplied Disqus, and ready to comment away. Lovely. How could I resist making snide and clever comments on subjects and topics I hadn't the slightest interest in?
That seems to be how this Muslim guy was the first person to respond to my comment on this Jewish blog, and he belligerently suggested I include the New Testament propaganda of the Crusaders. I wrote back and agreed all the holy books should be burned. With my new question being: How the hell did he get to Comment on a Jewish site? I went to Disqus.com to read about how they handle blogger.com discussions, and it stated that for Disqus to work on a Blogger.com site, the individual blog settings had to be marked to be open to all comers. Including, it appears, dogmatic Muslims on dogmatic Jewish sites, much less Gentiles with no careactor like me. '-)
The lovely part of this arrangement is that nobody has to subscribe to a specific blog or web site with their personal information that can be traced by power users. They only have to subscribe once to Disqus, and it's free. The individual site owners can't trace you any further than Disqus to find out if they should come kill you if you're not a member of their weird tribal religion or insane political persuasion. I hope I can trust Disqus to be confidential.
Don't get your hopes up that I will sign up for Disqus on this blog. I still don't wanna entertain your dumb ass comments about my neurotic, illiterate speculations. I'm one of those amoral, unethical people who can "give it, but not take it." I am is not, however, "proud to be an Okie from Muskogee. A place where even children have a ball..."
❦
Monday, April 4, 2011
Thunderbolts
☙
Late yesterday afternoon, at about the time of day that I was born in the twilight between night and day, I was bored and a little angry, because I found it impossible to solder the pieces of copper I had bent into fractal shapes together. Disconcerted, I turned to my computer and booted up Google Video to find amusement to change my mood. I eventually clicked on this video and watched it:
http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=4773590301316220374#
It didn't take long for the content of the video to interest me. It is called Thunderbolts of the Gods, and "Thunderbolt" was the nayme I gave my first and only horse when I was thirteen years old. Coincident? I think not. Well, not now. I continued to watch the video.
The topic is basically about the electric universe and plasma exchanges between objects in space. This gets real personal with me. It explains many of the events that have intrigued and fascinated me since birth. Some mystics have called it "The Dragon's Tail", and I encountered it as such in my remembering vision.
The most impressive topic discussed in this video, in my opinion, is about plasma. Examples are given and pictures and illustrations provided that makes magnetic/electric plasma and it's flow about me. It's easy for me to understand that's what was going on in the description I've written about the "golden blob" that enveloped me when I was 14 years old. An electric universe overcomes my doubts about the products of science.
Getting the Gnaural software to work for me is exciting. I wanted to create a brain wave sequence that would take me down to a state of predominant delta brain waves, and help me stay there, until I could be comfortable enough in that state to explore it. I made that happen yesterday, and then tried it out.
I wrote about doing this and not getting the results I desired, because I woke up with a dull, throbbing head ache and was generally uncomfortable with the entire affair. The default program is based on theta brain waves that have spikes of alpha brain waves every six minutes, before it resumed the theta brain wave format.
To create a crude delta wave situation I had removed the spikes for my first effort. After getting the negative results I went back and put them in again every 4 minutes, and when I finished sitting through the session this time, most, if not all the negative attributes were gone.
The only thing that happened that was unpredictable about the delta brain wave program I designed was that I "woke up" toward the end of the 74 minute session. I had designed the sequence to move me back up to the alpha brain wave level to end the session after the 56 minute mark, but I "woke up" before the sequence got to that. I don't know why.
Later, I watched another video by Ken Wilber in which he demonstrated that he could stop all his brain waves at the same time:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LFFMtq5g8N4
In this video he talked about the delta brain waves and how they act as constant witness. I was familiar with this "witness" state from reading about what happens in sleep labs where they wake the patient up during various points of the therapy to ask the patient what was happening just before they were awakened.
Several patients, who were at the sleep clinic because they had various problems getting a full night's sleep, reported "seeing" a goldenness in the delta state that has intrigued me since I first read about it years ago. Their remarks (in the book I read ages ago) constantly brought up my youthful experience with the "golden blob" that enveloped me. Once it did take me into itself, I experienced an ecstasy of such deep joy I couldn't possibly forget it. I want it back. '-)
It's probably not going to happen. That's why up at the top of this page, in the clumsy header that supposedly serves as my disclaimer, I added the last sentence a month or so ago. I read it some place and it seems to be a factoid of truth. "Great moments in our lives never return."
❦
Late yesterday afternoon, at about the time of day that I was born in the twilight between night and day, I was bored and a little angry, because I found it impossible to solder the pieces of copper I had bent into fractal shapes together. Disconcerted, I turned to my computer and booted up Google Video to find amusement to change my mood. I eventually clicked on this video and watched it:
http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=4773590301316220374#
It didn't take long for the content of the video to interest me. It is called Thunderbolts of the Gods, and "Thunderbolt" was the nayme I gave my first and only horse when I was thirteen years old. Coincident? I think not. Well, not now. I continued to watch the video.
The topic is basically about the electric universe and plasma exchanges between objects in space. This gets real personal with me. It explains many of the events that have intrigued and fascinated me since birth. Some mystics have called it "The Dragon's Tail", and I encountered it as such in my remembering vision.
The most impressive topic discussed in this video, in my opinion, is about plasma. Examples are given and pictures and illustrations provided that makes magnetic/electric plasma and it's flow about me. It's easy for me to understand that's what was going on in the description I've written about the "golden blob" that enveloped me when I was 14 years old. An electric universe overcomes my doubts about the products of science.
Getting the Gnaural software to work for me is exciting. I wanted to create a brain wave sequence that would take me down to a state of predominant delta brain waves, and help me stay there, until I could be comfortable enough in that state to explore it. I made that happen yesterday, and then tried it out.
I wrote about doing this and not getting the results I desired, because I woke up with a dull, throbbing head ache and was generally uncomfortable with the entire affair. The default program is based on theta brain waves that have spikes of alpha brain waves every six minutes, before it resumed the theta brain wave format.
To create a crude delta wave situation I had removed the spikes for my first effort. After getting the negative results I went back and put them in again every 4 minutes, and when I finished sitting through the session this time, most, if not all the negative attributes were gone.
The only thing that happened that was unpredictable about the delta brain wave program I designed was that I "woke up" toward the end of the 74 minute session. I had designed the sequence to move me back up to the alpha brain wave level to end the session after the 56 minute mark, but I "woke up" before the sequence got to that. I don't know why.
Later, I watched another video by Ken Wilber in which he demonstrated that he could stop all his brain waves at the same time:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LFFMtq5g8N4
In this video he talked about the delta brain waves and how they act as constant witness. I was familiar with this "witness" state from reading about what happens in sleep labs where they wake the patient up during various points of the therapy to ask the patient what was happening just before they were awakened.
Several patients, who were at the sleep clinic because they had various problems getting a full night's sleep, reported "seeing" a goldenness in the delta state that has intrigued me since I first read about it years ago. Their remarks (in the book I read ages ago) constantly brought up my youthful experience with the "golden blob" that enveloped me. Once it did take me into itself, I experienced an ecstasy of such deep joy I couldn't possibly forget it. I want it back. '-)
It's probably not going to happen. That's why up at the top of this page, in the clumsy header that supposedly serves as my disclaimer, I added the last sentence a month or so ago. I read it some place and it seems to be a factoid of truth. "Great moments in our lives never return."
❦
Sunday, April 3, 2011
Brainwaves And Runaways
☙
Another day encumbered by the rich old man's runaway dog. Now, he's offering a $500 reward. My brother made posters with the dog's picture and the notice of the reward in large letters. He spent much of the day distributing them around town and promoting a search for the dog. Not me. I did look around for the dog as I drove about taking care of my own business, but that was as much as I was willing to invest in it. I don't keep pets, so it doesn't mean as much to me.
Learning how to customize the binaural beats software is finally beginning to make sense to me. I watched the YouTube video for the umpteenth time, and realized the guy was saying to double-click on the various points of the time line to be able to move them around. I was able to do that and get some satisfaction with creating a sequence with some delta brainwave patterns.
I didn't create a new program from the beginning. Instead I altered the default program to hear the results through my new noise-canceling headphones. I sat back and closed my eyes to listen to my handiwork, and the next thing I became aware of was that I had drifted off to sleep. A hard sleep, and I had a little headache and other bodily maladies that were unpleasant.
The default program is designed to elicit theta brainwave responses and lasts 74 minutes. The time is related to being able to record it to a CD disc to make it portable. It can be looped over and over again, however, for as long as the program designer (soon to be me) wants it. It has spikes of alpha and beta brainwaves in the default program ever so often to remind the user that they are hooked up to a brainwave machine. These spikes can be placed at any part of the sequence according to where the designer wants.
The temperature is supposed to get up into the low 70's today, but right now, and a little past six o'clock in the morning it's 37° (2.777° C) and my bare feet are pretty cold. I don't have any heat in my house except for a space heater, and so I'm attempting to get used to having cold feet and to toughen them up for walking around barefooted.
This may seem stupid in these days of central heating, but it's the way I grew up as a child. To me it's a lot like the situation I understand is happening with GPS devices. People get dependent on them so much that they forget how to find their way around the world without them. I have hitch-hiked all over North America many times without so much as a map to guide me. I don't want to lose my sense of direction.
Getting lost is something that happens with older people enough as it is. It's one of the signs of senility. I don't want that happening to me artificially when it's probably gonna happen anyway down the road. How far down the road is a mystery, and when it does happen I probably won't be that much aware of it.
Back when I was traveling all over the country as a homeless bum on my "go-ye-therefore" journeys I saw old people occasionally walking around in a daze. Many of them literally looked confused and the stress of not knowing where they were or where they were going was evident in their faces.
A couple of times I tried to help them out, but to do that brought the attention of the police and other authority figures, and that was the last thing I wanted as a bum. It didn't help to help them except to get them something to drink and move on. It was a frightening thing to know that one day, if I should live so long, the sa-me thing would happen to me.
Worse if in that condition I were to run into evil people or a gang of young people looking for fun. It happened in many forms even when I was young and strong. I think maybe that's why I was sent on this mission in the first place. To learn to live with the way things are rather than behind the protected walls of civilization.
I had to learn to depend on my instincts and that's different than following the advice of a more formal mode of education, particularly books and other graven images. Other people's gospel truth is created for dealing with the world they live or lived in, and things change when the unexpected happens. The adage that scared people will hurt you assumes that it doesn't matter why they're afraid. Being understanding of why the other is afraid doesn't protect me from their response to fear.
Some of the times in my life that I encountered death was when nobody was around and I wasn't threatened by humans or any other predatory animals, but when I confronted by natural situations I didn't grok the danger of it. That's what happened when I jumped off that cliff in Yosemite National Park. I inadvertently got caught up in a freak snow storm, and made some bad decisions that should have cost me my life.
Since the time of that incident I've learned that what happened to me is not that unusual in the high Sierra Nevada mountains. It's the elevation that causes people to get caught off-guard. Particularly hikers that aren't prepared to deal with snow storms that happen in the warm summer months. That happens so regularly on Mount Rainier near Seattle, Washington that it's barely news any more.
I've written before that the cliff I jumped off of was 800 feet high, but since getting a few facts from the Google Earth software program I've realized that it was well over 2000 thousand feet from the floor of Yosemite valley with the Park Lodge is. It was higher than Yosemite Falls at over 2400 feet, and that's the tallest waterfalls in the continental United States. I should have gotten dead instead of surviving without a scratch on me.
This event happened when there wasn't a soul around me. There were no witnesses man nor beast. Well, there could have been some animals I wasn't aware of that saw what happened. Some of them would have had to been birds to have seen what happened on my way down to the rocks below.
If I had not have had my remembering vision when I was thirty years old in which I experienced being practically every sort of animal that's ever been on Earth I might not have been able to remember the various events that happened to me in this very body. I certainly wouldn't have remembered that I had jumped off this very high cliff and survived without permanent damage to my body.
I had to go to insane lengths to keep it from disappearing from my conscious memory. I'm grateful that I recognized during the process of it going away in order to do what I had to do to keep it. I had the feeling even at that time that other events similar to this one had happened, and I had promptly forgotten about it. It also allows me to consider that incidents like this has probably happened to a lot of people that forgot that it happened to them also.
The conscious loss of the more-of-me (memory) than others can "see", might be ubiquitous across entire populations. I'm thinking that's why so many people identify with other people's problems they see in the news so profoundly. Something similar must have happened to them, and they don't consciously remember it. Maybe not as drastic as jumping off a high cliff to an almost certain and desirable death, but some lesser incident with an equal chance of getting the same results.
❦
Another day encumbered by the rich old man's runaway dog. Now, he's offering a $500 reward. My brother made posters with the dog's picture and the notice of the reward in large letters. He spent much of the day distributing them around town and promoting a search for the dog. Not me. I did look around for the dog as I drove about taking care of my own business, but that was as much as I was willing to invest in it. I don't keep pets, so it doesn't mean as much to me.
Learning how to customize the binaural beats software is finally beginning to make sense to me. I watched the YouTube video for the umpteenth time, and realized the guy was saying to double-click on the various points of the time line to be able to move them around. I was able to do that and get some satisfaction with creating a sequence with some delta brainwave patterns.
I didn't create a new program from the beginning. Instead I altered the default program to hear the results through my new noise-canceling headphones. I sat back and closed my eyes to listen to my handiwork, and the next thing I became aware of was that I had drifted off to sleep. A hard sleep, and I had a little headache and other bodily maladies that were unpleasant.
The default program is designed to elicit theta brainwave responses and lasts 74 minutes. The time is related to being able to record it to a CD disc to make it portable. It can be looped over and over again, however, for as long as the program designer (soon to be me) wants it. It has spikes of alpha and beta brainwaves in the default program ever so often to remind the user that they are hooked up to a brainwave machine. These spikes can be placed at any part of the sequence according to where the designer wants.
The temperature is supposed to get up into the low 70's today, but right now, and a little past six o'clock in the morning it's 37° (2.777° C) and my bare feet are pretty cold. I don't have any heat in my house except for a space heater, and so I'm attempting to get used to having cold feet and to toughen them up for walking around barefooted.
This may seem stupid in these days of central heating, but it's the way I grew up as a child. To me it's a lot like the situation I understand is happening with GPS devices. People get dependent on them so much that they forget how to find their way around the world without them. I have hitch-hiked all over North America many times without so much as a map to guide me. I don't want to lose my sense of direction.
Getting lost is something that happens with older people enough as it is. It's one of the signs of senility. I don't want that happening to me artificially when it's probably gonna happen anyway down the road. How far down the road is a mystery, and when it does happen I probably won't be that much aware of it.
Back when I was traveling all over the country as a homeless bum on my "go-ye-therefore" journeys I saw old people occasionally walking around in a daze. Many of them literally looked confused and the stress of not knowing where they were or where they were going was evident in their faces.
A couple of times I tried to help them out, but to do that brought the attention of the police and other authority figures, and that was the last thing I wanted as a bum. It didn't help to help them except to get them something to drink and move on. It was a frightening thing to know that one day, if I should live so long, the sa-me thing would happen to me.
Worse if in that condition I were to run into evil people or a gang of young people looking for fun. It happened in many forms even when I was young and strong. I think maybe that's why I was sent on this mission in the first place. To learn to live with the way things are rather than behind the protected walls of civilization.
I had to learn to depend on my instincts and that's different than following the advice of a more formal mode of education, particularly books and other graven images. Other people's gospel truth is created for dealing with the world they live or lived in, and things change when the unexpected happens. The adage that scared people will hurt you assumes that it doesn't matter why they're afraid. Being understanding of why the other is afraid doesn't protect me from their response to fear.
Some of the times in my life that I encountered death was when nobody was around and I wasn't threatened by humans or any other predatory animals, but when I confronted by natural situations I didn't grok the danger of it. That's what happened when I jumped off that cliff in Yosemite National Park. I inadvertently got caught up in a freak snow storm, and made some bad decisions that should have cost me my life.
Since the time of that incident I've learned that what happened to me is not that unusual in the high Sierra Nevada mountains. It's the elevation that causes people to get caught off-guard. Particularly hikers that aren't prepared to deal with snow storms that happen in the warm summer months. That happens so regularly on Mount Rainier near Seattle, Washington that it's barely news any more.
I've written before that the cliff I jumped off of was 800 feet high, but since getting a few facts from the Google Earth software program I've realized that it was well over 2000 thousand feet from the floor of Yosemite valley with the Park Lodge is. It was higher than Yosemite Falls at over 2400 feet, and that's the tallest waterfalls in the continental United States. I should have gotten dead instead of surviving without a scratch on me.
This event happened when there wasn't a soul around me. There were no witnesses man nor beast. Well, there could have been some animals I wasn't aware of that saw what happened. Some of them would have had to been birds to have seen what happened on my way down to the rocks below.
If I had not have had my remembering vision when I was thirty years old in which I experienced being practically every sort of animal that's ever been on Earth I might not have been able to remember the various events that happened to me in this very body. I certainly wouldn't have remembered that I had jumped off this very high cliff and survived without permanent damage to my body.
I had to go to insane lengths to keep it from disappearing from my conscious memory. I'm grateful that I recognized during the process of it going away in order to do what I had to do to keep it. I had the feeling even at that time that other events similar to this one had happened, and I had promptly forgotten about it. It also allows me to consider that incidents like this has probably happened to a lot of people that forgot that it happened to them also.
The conscious loss of the more-of-me (memory) than others can "see", might be ubiquitous across entire populations. I'm thinking that's why so many people identify with other people's problems they see in the news so profoundly. Something similar must have happened to them, and they don't consciously remember it. Maybe not as drastic as jumping off a high cliff to an almost certain and desirable death, but some lesser incident with an equal chance of getting the same results.
❦
Saturday, April 2, 2011
Lost Dog Blues
❧
For better or worse I've been waking up every morning for a week now at 4:00-4:30 a.m., and laying in bed for a while wide awake, so then I figure I might as well get up and write some. It's a good time to write because the world is still quiet. It was especially good yesterday morning because the man whose dog ran away started calling him.
I couldn't do anything creative with all that yelling going on, so I went out to see if I could help find the dog. I walked down toward the river calling out for him in the old man's voice, but I didn't find a clue, and the dog is still gone. I guess the old man, in his eighties, is heart-broken. Rich, with a young wife in her mid-fifties, I think the dog may have been the most meaningful relationship he has.
The most meaningful things in my domestic life are gone and have been gone for thirty years. I got an e-mail response from my daughter yesterday. It's the first time we've communicated in a long time. I was surprised she even bothered to write back. She seems busy being a mother of a young boy. I've never seen my grandson, and probably never will. I don't think I could have done anything any different. The die was cast before me and her mother ever met.
Writing the last line might seem strange to some. I guess it indicates that I am is a fatalist. A victim of kismet or karma. I don't know what to think about the way my life has turned out. It seems to follow the auspices of my natal astrology chart or maybe I interpreted my natal chart to read like my life. If so, then it was as good a way to interpret as any as far as I am is concerned. A man gotta do...
The Gnaural binary beat generator seems to be useful to me. I became acquainted with binaural beats by reading Robert Monroe's books on astral travel. I'd had some spontaneous astral travels previous to encountering his books. One in particular truly astounded me.
When I read Monroe's books his stories appeared to have the same slant as the way I had figured my own experiences, and so when I read in his books that he has set up an organization to explore astral travel I had to go there to see what it might mean to me.
He used binaural beats that he claims to have discovered using radio frequencies through his job in the broadcasting industry. His story about how he encountered them may or may not be exactly the truth, but I was determined to come up with his asking price and attend the initial seminar in Faber, Virginia.
Attending the seminar and indulging the regimen that had been set up by Robert Monroe didn't impress me so much while I was there. I came home rather disappointed that I didn't learn to initiate astral travel by listening to the binaural beats as was supposed to be the good end of following the course lessons.
Later, I realized that I had been fairly depressed when I went there because I had to deal with my father's death, and then was forced by circumstance to stay with my mother who took his death hard and couldn't stay home alone anymore. I stayed with her for two and a half years even though I had this partially completed house to stay in.
Attending the seminar might not have gotten the results I was seeking, but it did calm me down and gave me some perspective about my own life. I was deeply obsessed with using the Wilhelm/Baynes translation of the I Ching at the time, and every time I asked it about taking more seminars at the Monroe Institute I received encouragement.
The Monroe people call their binaural beat audio tapes Hemi-Sync, but they're the same as the Centrepoint.com binaural beats Bill Harris calls Holosync. They're the same as the Gnaural beat generator produces with each system claiming their stuff is different.
The Gnaural beat generator can be downloaded from Sourceforge.com free. Since they have a Mac version I downloaded it. It's a good thing they have a default meditation program with it. All you need is stereo earphones and you can use it right away just by clicking on the Start button. I've listened to it at least twenty hours, and it has a powerful affect on me.
I ordered the demo offered by Centrepoint and received it by snail mail yesterday afternoon. I walked out to my rural mail box on the paved road and it was there waiting for me. I brought it back to my house, tore it open, and loaded the enclosed DVD right away.
The guy who owns Centrepoint, Bill Harris, explains what he offers on the audio disc at the same time the binaural beat demonstration is happening. His voice is not so intrusive as I thought it might be, but it's the same deal as with Monroe Institute technically. He tries to get people hooked with the first modestly priced introductory course, and once done, to continue, you pay more, and then probably more.
Since my chief feature in the Enneagram system is avarice, and I've grown to accept that I'm a serious miser, I may not get involved with the Centrepoint format past the demo. The Gnaural beat generator default program seems to be helping me meditate more deeply. I may just start using it regular.
The thing of it is with the Gnaural beat generator is that one is not limited to the default meditation program. There is a YouTube tutorial video about how it can be altered to produce an individual approach. I've watched the video several times without getting the point. Last night I watched it again and was able to grok it a little better.
Gnaural keeps freezing up on me when I try to create a different program. That may be my fault because I haven't learned how to get it to do right. I end up having to "force quit" the program to close it, and reboot it to try again. Maybe with each attempt I'll understand the tutorial eventually and get what I want to happen.
The default program starts out producing alpha brainwaves, and fairly quickly goes to theta and stays there until just before the 72 minute program ends where it drop to delta brainwaves for a short while. I want to set it up to get to delta faster and for a longer period of time. Maybe I can make that happen, but if I don't, it's all good.
I did dream a segment early this morning about getting picked up hitchhiking with a friend by three guys in the front seat of a car. I figured they intended to rob us once we got to a rural area. Sure enough they did, and when they slowed down I opened the door of the car and dragged my friend out with me into some tall, dry grass.
There was a tussle, but then I went lucid and started coming with with weapons to fight them with. Then, I started waking up, but not before I killed a couple of them by slashing their throats. Getting lucid can be lots more fun than being victimized.
❦
For better or worse I've been waking up every morning for a week now at 4:00-4:30 a.m., and laying in bed for a while wide awake, so then I figure I might as well get up and write some. It's a good time to write because the world is still quiet. It was especially good yesterday morning because the man whose dog ran away started calling him.
I couldn't do anything creative with all that yelling going on, so I went out to see if I could help find the dog. I walked down toward the river calling out for him in the old man's voice, but I didn't find a clue, and the dog is still gone. I guess the old man, in his eighties, is heart-broken. Rich, with a young wife in her mid-fifties, I think the dog may have been the most meaningful relationship he has.
The most meaningful things in my domestic life are gone and have been gone for thirty years. I got an e-mail response from my daughter yesterday. It's the first time we've communicated in a long time. I was surprised she even bothered to write back. She seems busy being a mother of a young boy. I've never seen my grandson, and probably never will. I don't think I could have done anything any different. The die was cast before me and her mother ever met.
Writing the last line might seem strange to some. I guess it indicates that I am is a fatalist. A victim of kismet or karma. I don't know what to think about the way my life has turned out. It seems to follow the auspices of my natal astrology chart or maybe I interpreted my natal chart to read like my life. If so, then it was as good a way to interpret as any as far as I am is concerned. A man gotta do...
The Gnaural binary beat generator seems to be useful to me. I became acquainted with binaural beats by reading Robert Monroe's books on astral travel. I'd had some spontaneous astral travels previous to encountering his books. One in particular truly astounded me.
When I read Monroe's books his stories appeared to have the same slant as the way I had figured my own experiences, and so when I read in his books that he has set up an organization to explore astral travel I had to go there to see what it might mean to me.
He used binaural beats that he claims to have discovered using radio frequencies through his job in the broadcasting industry. His story about how he encountered them may or may not be exactly the truth, but I was determined to come up with his asking price and attend the initial seminar in Faber, Virginia.
Attending the seminar and indulging the regimen that had been set up by Robert Monroe didn't impress me so much while I was there. I came home rather disappointed that I didn't learn to initiate astral travel by listening to the binaural beats as was supposed to be the good end of following the course lessons.
Later, I realized that I had been fairly depressed when I went there because I had to deal with my father's death, and then was forced by circumstance to stay with my mother who took his death hard and couldn't stay home alone anymore. I stayed with her for two and a half years even though I had this partially completed house to stay in.
Attending the seminar might not have gotten the results I was seeking, but it did calm me down and gave me some perspective about my own life. I was deeply obsessed with using the Wilhelm/Baynes translation of the I Ching at the time, and every time I asked it about taking more seminars at the Monroe Institute I received encouragement.
The Monroe people call their binaural beat audio tapes Hemi-Sync, but they're the same as the Centrepoint.com binaural beats Bill Harris calls Holosync. They're the same as the Gnaural beat generator produces with each system claiming their stuff is different.
The Gnaural beat generator can be downloaded from Sourceforge.com free. Since they have a Mac version I downloaded it. It's a good thing they have a default meditation program with it. All you need is stereo earphones and you can use it right away just by clicking on the Start button. I've listened to it at least twenty hours, and it has a powerful affect on me.
I ordered the demo offered by Centrepoint and received it by snail mail yesterday afternoon. I walked out to my rural mail box on the paved road and it was there waiting for me. I brought it back to my house, tore it open, and loaded the enclosed DVD right away.
The guy who owns Centrepoint, Bill Harris, explains what he offers on the audio disc at the same time the binaural beat demonstration is happening. His voice is not so intrusive as I thought it might be, but it's the same deal as with Monroe Institute technically. He tries to get people hooked with the first modestly priced introductory course, and once done, to continue, you pay more, and then probably more.
Since my chief feature in the Enneagram system is avarice, and I've grown to accept that I'm a serious miser, I may not get involved with the Centrepoint format past the demo. The Gnaural beat generator default program seems to be helping me meditate more deeply. I may just start using it regular.
The thing of it is with the Gnaural beat generator is that one is not limited to the default meditation program. There is a YouTube tutorial video about how it can be altered to produce an individual approach. I've watched the video several times without getting the point. Last night I watched it again and was able to grok it a little better.
Gnaural keeps freezing up on me when I try to create a different program. That may be my fault because I haven't learned how to get it to do right. I end up having to "force quit" the program to close it, and reboot it to try again. Maybe with each attempt I'll understand the tutorial eventually and get what I want to happen.
The default program starts out producing alpha brainwaves, and fairly quickly goes to theta and stays there until just before the 72 minute program ends where it drop to delta brainwaves for a short while. I want to set it up to get to delta faster and for a longer period of time. Maybe I can make that happen, but if I don't, it's all good.
I did dream a segment early this morning about getting picked up hitchhiking with a friend by three guys in the front seat of a car. I figured they intended to rob us once we got to a rural area. Sure enough they did, and when they slowed down I opened the door of the car and dragged my friend out with me into some tall, dry grass.
There was a tussle, but then I went lucid and started coming with with weapons to fight them with. Then, I started waking up, but not before I killed a couple of them by slashing their throats. Getting lucid can be lots more fun than being victimized.
❦
Friday, April 1, 2011
The Ocean Is Always Full
❧
It really surprises me that I have been here this long without being killed for being dumb, but I have. Lots of other people that I've communicated with are no longer with us for reasons that's easier to understand. Oddly, yesterday afternoon I kept hearing voices. No, not that kind of voices (but I hear them too), but real voices. It was raining pretty hard outside, and the source was hard to distinguish.
First I'd hear someone calling from one direction. Later I'd hear the same voice calling from another direction. It mystified me. When the rain slowed down I went out on the deck to check it out. Eventually, a car drove up into my driveway, and it was these people from New Jersey who were visiting my brother. They were driving around calling out for this old man's pet dog. The dog had run off, and they were looking for him.
They approached my house, and the old man stuck his head out the window to ask me if I'd seen his dog. He wasn't very friendly about it. I told him that I had seen all three of their dogs briefly yesterday, but not since then. They drove off to yell some more and to continue looking for their dog. I had the distinct feeling they were not gonna find him. No alive anyway. Old dogs have a habit of getting off by themselves to die. They can't do that if they're kept inside all the time. I hope he finds his dog alive, but the signs aren't right. I got nothing against dogs.
What I don't like is noise. People who make a lot of noise get on my nerves. If they keep it up and keep annoying me, something usually happens to inspire them to stop making noise and sometime breathing. That's just the way of the world. I don't have to get personal about it when I cuss them. The whole world hates noise and helps me get some peace even if they don't know it's for me.
I dreamed another strange dream this morning. This one was about getting caught up in a big mining complex up in some mountains. I don't know which mountains. One of the miners I worked with had his own little piece of land near the big mine. He was trying to mine the same type of ore in a smaller vein. He perpetually whined about not having enough money to do it right, and he didn't have large enough equipment to move the dross out of the way to get to the valuable ore.
He asked me if I wanted to see his operation after work one day. I agreed to go over there with him to see what he had going on. Once I saw his pitiful operation it was easy to see why he was having such a hard time attracting investors. His father had been working this weak mojo from before he was born with no tangible results. He walked up while I was there, and I knew that man, but not in a good way. The man I worked with had two sons that didn't look like they would survive without him or his father around, and his father didn't look long for this world.
Eventually, my youngest brother showed up on the horizon and called down to me to see if I was ready to go. He looked positively radiant compared to us miners. This weird family wanted me to stay longer, but I already knew what was gonna happen there, so I begged my leave and started walking up to where I had seen my brother calling out.
Eventually I saw the parking lot for the mine workers and tried to find my way there. Some of the employees called my by my given name and tried to tell me how to get there. As I rounded one corner I realized that I was dreaming the same recurring dream, but in a different industrial setting. I lay in the bed for a while reflecting on the dream.
I decided to wake up instead of going lucid, and get outta bed to write because I had a bad taste in my mouth. The first thing I did was to disconnect from the source of the problem I been having the last few days. It makes me wonder if their beloved dog wandered off in order to die. I guess I'll know soon enow.
It's ridiculous to want the warm weather of Spring to hurry up and get here. I know when it does I'll wish it would cool down again. The prescription medicine I'm taking for the arthritis screws with my body temperatures. I'm hot when I should be cold, and cold when I should be hot. I guess that's because both medicines are anti-inflammatory and designed to get my arthritic joints to cool down and reduce the swelling.
It's the swelling that causes the pain, but now it's the bones in between the joints that hurt. I have an appointment with the rheumatologist next week. Maybe she can do something about it by prescribing some stronger medicine. I refused it before and pissed them off, but I've come to the point where the constant pain has made me more pliable in my mind about using stronger medicines. I'm still gonna try to get outta using the Humira.
The reason Obama put the boots on the ground in Libya can be keened from the required exodus of non-Libyans out of the oil fields once the guns started going off. The numbers I heard was ten thousand Chinese laborers were being removed from the country. That was the entire point of the entire "rebellion".
It had nothing to do with Kaddafi. He's just caught in the middle because he allowed the Chinese workers into his country under the pretense of hired help. It's clear now they would eventually take over the country to get their oil. I suspect they were also there to play the Devil's advocate politically, and to manipulate the United States into borrowing more money from them. It backfired on Kaddafi. The CIA intervention was intended to interfere with China taking over Libya's oil fields to ship that oil back to China, not run Kaddafi off. No blame. China is all over the oil in southern Africa too.
The nuclear catastrophe in Japan is simply going to accelerate the energy problem all over the world. The various countries need either oil or nuclear energy to live up to their citizens expectations of eventually living the good life America has forgotten they depend on to keep up their overinflated way of life. Heads are gonna roll, and it won't make the slightest difference.
❦
It really surprises me that I have been here this long without being killed for being dumb, but I have. Lots of other people that I've communicated with are no longer with us for reasons that's easier to understand. Oddly, yesterday afternoon I kept hearing voices. No, not that kind of voices (but I hear them too), but real voices. It was raining pretty hard outside, and the source was hard to distinguish.
First I'd hear someone calling from one direction. Later I'd hear the same voice calling from another direction. It mystified me. When the rain slowed down I went out on the deck to check it out. Eventually, a car drove up into my driveway, and it was these people from New Jersey who were visiting my brother. They were driving around calling out for this old man's pet dog. The dog had run off, and they were looking for him.
They approached my house, and the old man stuck his head out the window to ask me if I'd seen his dog. He wasn't very friendly about it. I told him that I had seen all three of their dogs briefly yesterday, but not since then. They drove off to yell some more and to continue looking for their dog. I had the distinct feeling they were not gonna find him. No alive anyway. Old dogs have a habit of getting off by themselves to die. They can't do that if they're kept inside all the time. I hope he finds his dog alive, but the signs aren't right. I got nothing against dogs.
What I don't like is noise. People who make a lot of noise get on my nerves. If they keep it up and keep annoying me, something usually happens to inspire them to stop making noise and sometime breathing. That's just the way of the world. I don't have to get personal about it when I cuss them. The whole world hates noise and helps me get some peace even if they don't know it's for me.
I dreamed another strange dream this morning. This one was about getting caught up in a big mining complex up in some mountains. I don't know which mountains. One of the miners I worked with had his own little piece of land near the big mine. He was trying to mine the same type of ore in a smaller vein. He perpetually whined about not having enough money to do it right, and he didn't have large enough equipment to move the dross out of the way to get to the valuable ore.
He asked me if I wanted to see his operation after work one day. I agreed to go over there with him to see what he had going on. Once I saw his pitiful operation it was easy to see why he was having such a hard time attracting investors. His father had been working this weak mojo from before he was born with no tangible results. He walked up while I was there, and I knew that man, but not in a good way. The man I worked with had two sons that didn't look like they would survive without him or his father around, and his father didn't look long for this world.
Eventually, my youngest brother showed up on the horizon and called down to me to see if I was ready to go. He looked positively radiant compared to us miners. This weird family wanted me to stay longer, but I already knew what was gonna happen there, so I begged my leave and started walking up to where I had seen my brother calling out.
Eventually I saw the parking lot for the mine workers and tried to find my way there. Some of the employees called my by my given name and tried to tell me how to get there. As I rounded one corner I realized that I was dreaming the same recurring dream, but in a different industrial setting. I lay in the bed for a while reflecting on the dream.
I decided to wake up instead of going lucid, and get outta bed to write because I had a bad taste in my mouth. The first thing I did was to disconnect from the source of the problem I been having the last few days. It makes me wonder if their beloved dog wandered off in order to die. I guess I'll know soon enow.
It's ridiculous to want the warm weather of Spring to hurry up and get here. I know when it does I'll wish it would cool down again. The prescription medicine I'm taking for the arthritis screws with my body temperatures. I'm hot when I should be cold, and cold when I should be hot. I guess that's because both medicines are anti-inflammatory and designed to get my arthritic joints to cool down and reduce the swelling.
It's the swelling that causes the pain, but now it's the bones in between the joints that hurt. I have an appointment with the rheumatologist next week. Maybe she can do something about it by prescribing some stronger medicine. I refused it before and pissed them off, but I've come to the point where the constant pain has made me more pliable in my mind about using stronger medicines. I'm still gonna try to get outta using the Humira.
The reason Obama put the boots on the ground in Libya can be keened from the required exodus of non-Libyans out of the oil fields once the guns started going off. The numbers I heard was ten thousand Chinese laborers were being removed from the country. That was the entire point of the entire "rebellion".
It had nothing to do with Kaddafi. He's just caught in the middle because he allowed the Chinese workers into his country under the pretense of hired help. It's clear now they would eventually take over the country to get their oil. I suspect they were also there to play the Devil's advocate politically, and to manipulate the United States into borrowing more money from them. It backfired on Kaddafi. The CIA intervention was intended to interfere with China taking over Libya's oil fields to ship that oil back to China, not run Kaddafi off. No blame. China is all over the oil in southern Africa too.
The nuclear catastrophe in Japan is simply going to accelerate the energy problem all over the world. The various countries need either oil or nuclear energy to live up to their citizens expectations of eventually living the good life America has forgotten they depend on to keep up their overinflated way of life. Heads are gonna roll, and it won't make the slightest difference.
❦
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