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The dream I had fairly early last night took place inside a large dim lit room. If I hadn't been told that it was a prison I think I would have eventually figured it out anyway, even me. It looked somewhat like one of the tobacco warehouses that were around when I was a kid, except it didn't have a concrete floor to roll the baskets of tied tobacco around and arrange them in the long rows for auctioning.
The roof wasn't high like in a warehouse either. It was a very large darkish room that seemed to go on forever. Outside the room was a marijuana field, and I figured out that it was my pot smoking habit that was the prison I was a prisoner of. I smoked it on a regular basis for forty years or better. Later. I smoked pot to replace tobacco when I stopped smoking cigarettes. I only stopped smoking pot because my dealer died, and I'm too old to find another one.
I've been using the Gnaural binary beat generator to help me get a better attitude. In the past, back when I kept a hatha yoga ritual going for around twenty years, I got to this deep meditative state on a fairly regular basis, but not so much recently. Yesterday I meditated using Gnaural for four hours, and it literally took the starch out of my bad habits, and seemed to help with the arthritis pain that's come on strong lately.
I used the various tutorials associated with Gnaural to set up a sequence for attaining a delta state, and it actually worked okay for me, but it was the default sequence designed to elicit the theta state that has done the most good. The only discipline required is that I boot up the software and put the headphone over my ears. I sit in the over-stuffed chair I was given as a hand-me-down and watch my breathing until my awareness flips to theta.
Today I finally got around to cleaning the corner out where I wanted to put my digital piano . It wasn't as difficult as I speculated it to be. The corner was occupied by these wide cypress boards I've been saving to install as one wall somewhere yet to be decided. I had other lumber stashed beside my shower in the bathroom and when I put that mess in order the cypress boards fit beside that neatly.
Now, my digital piano is sitting in front of a window that looks west toward the pond at the bottom of the slope. When I sit and play the scales it's a nice green, natural area to look out at. The piano was located right behind where I sit at my computer, and I couldn't get into the room behind it without moving the desk chair which has worn out wheels and trouble to move.
I live in a very seedy rathole of a house, but it's mine. I take a lotta false pride in building my own house. I'm the only person who has lived in it besides my oldest daughter. She stayed here for about two weeks once and couldn't stand it because it was unfinished. If I was honest I might admit that it's unfinished so nobody will want to stay here but me.
The meditation I've been doing for the last few days has really changed my outlook. I sort of believe the Gnaural software program plus my new noise-canceling headphones have led me deeper into meditation than I've been by my own disciplined efforts for many years. I felt a little guilty for buying the Bose headphones because they're so expensive until today, now I'm really glad I spent the extra money. Being a natural-born miser can be painful at times.
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I do not attempt to tell the God's own truth here because I don't know what the truth is or hardly ever. I try to capture the drifting thoughts that randomly appear in my imagination for reasons I may not understand. I don't know if the content I capture with these words is true or false. The Comments settings are turned off to prevent me from having to defend what amounts to little more than fanciful, sometime crude speculation. Great moments in our lives never return.
