I've known a lot of the so-called New Age people. They sort of adopted me because I was generally ten years older than the usually well-heeled hippies. Not well-heeled by their definition, but in comparison to how I was living it was lots easier for them to get by. It was easy for me to move around in that world too, although I was more the age of a beatnik than a hippie. The New Agers are/were just homo sapiens with a special (to them) way of trying to feel human. In my opinion most of them got over it soon enow.
I don't know how to explain it, but back when I was living as a vagabond I had no steady source of income, but when I stayed in one place for a while, I usually left there with people owing me rather than the other way around. I do understand it as much as my memory of those times will allow me, but I find it difficult, and sometimes disturbing to describe. I never stole nothing from nobody generally. Not for a profit anyway. I didn't have to. Many people think it's better to give than receive. My gift to them is to demonstrate how easy that is by being a good receiver.
It wasn't so much that I'm all that honest, but I have a knack for knowing how to get money and supplies from corporate America and the government too. Again without stealing it, but if I were to steal it would be from the latter. I just didn't have any place to stash something I stole. I ain't that street smart in a hustling sort of way to be able to sell stolen goods without bearing shame.
I can just do without better than many people. I go round saying I know what's important to me, and it's not about a cash flow problem. It's about food, water, and a place to get in out of the weather when possible. I got that now and it's enough. I get the feeling that many people wouldn't be happy on what i get by on, but there's nothing I can do about that.
The Enneagram system for thinking about things intimated that in their way of thinking my chief feature is avarice. Greed. Miserly:
miserly
adjective
1 his miserly uncle mean, niggardly, close-fisted, parsimonious, penny-pinching, cheeseparing, Scroogelike; informal tightfisted, stingy, tight, mingy, money-grubbing, cheap; formal penurious.
Ostensibly, although I accepted the Enneagram archetype as being relevant in other ways, I haven't exactly come to grips with this characterization yet. All of the other archetypes have negative attributes. Some would be worse for me than avarice. But, contemplating what it might signify in my life has be a small revelation. I don't think I could have lived on the road as a vagabond if I wasn't this way, and yet, paradoxically, it's the very reason I failed at two marriages.
I have continuously wondered how I could live on next to nothing and think that made me special in some way. I do it now. It bothers me some that my attitude is an embarrassment to my family. Especially my brothers, but I come by it natural, and they've never known me to be any other way except when I was married. They say I was different then, and for the better.
I do not attempt to tell the God's own truth here because I don't know what the truth is or hardly ever. I try to capture the drifting thoughts that randomly appear in my imagination for reasons I may not understand. I don't know if the content I capture with these words is true or false. The Comments settings are turned off to prevent me from having to defend what amounts to little more than fanciful, sometime crude speculation. Great moments in our lives never return.
