Saturday, April 17, 2010

The Way Of All Good And Bad Thangs


The reunion of my high school class happened the day after Easter on the 5th, and I thought it was today. I wrote to the class secretary to find out what time today, and that's the only way I knew that I'd missed it. It probably happened because I'm losing my memory.

For some reason that doesn't bother me so much. A lot of my memories are not all that wonderful anyway. I've only been to two reunions in the last fifty odd years. The first one I got drunk and made a complete fool of myself. I didn't intend for something like that to happen, but apparently I was supposed to feel stupid about it for a long time.

The other reunion I attended was about six months ago and I deliberately toned my behavior down to compensate for my former mistake. Not much went on anyway. There was no organized method of getting news at that meeting. I only talked to the people at the same table I sat at, and only one class member sat in the group.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Walpurgis_Night

Reading on a bit about Walpurgisnacht revealed a statement about one celebration in Sweden in which the witches of winter were burned atop a special hill or mountain. May Day probably serves the same purpose to farmers in the northern climes as Easter does around here. It's a sort of drop dead date for planting gardens and crops so they won't get killed by a late frost.

This piqued my interest in how witches are associated with winter. They appear to specifically arrive along with the winter solstice. Is that when they mythically ride in like plagues on their brooms to indicate that the Black Plague descended upon Europe like a bird flu pandemic... instead of from land-locked black rats?

Were such "witches" symbolically burned at the stake, when Mai arrives, in order to prevent a late killing frost? Like dragons arrive with the spring equinox and are mythically associated with electric storms that spit lightning to burn homes and winds to blow down the farm crops? Do you supposed this is associated with old age and un-im-preg-na-ble women, and/or why they're sometime called "prigs"?

I wouldn't dare cop such an attitude around either of my ex-wives, but it doesn't matter that we were married, because I can't really say that around women of any kind. Does it matter that I have to stay away from people who take insult about my ability or desire to reach for any connections associated with my attempt to use words to capture drifting thoughts?

No. I can't afford to allow other people to decide whether what I choose to say is proper or improper any more than I can take the time to deliberate in real time whether what I write down in such an attempt is true or false. That's the exact reason I changed the settings on this blog to not allow Comments. This is a speculative process, not an attempt to be truthful.

This blog is also a continuation of my palm reading interests. Palm reading is one of the most fascinating activities I ever indulged. I did it practically every chance I got for around twenty years. No quarter. "Aye, and thar's the rub...". It took that long for me to realize that every word I said was a projection or accusation that was all about who-I-think-I-am-is.

I didn't learn about projection from studying it in a psychology class. I learned about it from taking religious sacraments and having it shoved up my ass from making rude assumptions. Other people are not like what I read in their palms. They're certainly not what I think I would be if I acted like I presume they do.

Granted, employing the dynamic of projection would make me what I accuse them of being like, but even that's not true. Not only is the other not what I would be like if I behaved as I propose they behave, but neither am I. I am is not what it ideates itself as being. I am is only me, and not any of it's delusions.

I read palms for such a long time because I could re-discover use palm-reading to find out how I used the rules of conscience I adopted in order to remember to mimic the behaviors of people I wanted to be like. That's how I incrementally developed the various personalities I am uses to get what it thinks I am needs from the world around Me.

There is only One me, and each personality assumes that the One me is actually IT. How does I am deliberately pervert and distort the One Me into six billion personas? In this sense, the persona is basically a mouthpiece for a particular worldview.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Persona

In my highly questionable opinion it's because each I am can only create personas by mimicry and imitation. The ability to do that doesn't last forever. Upon the symbolic event of one's second Saturn Return, the process reverses and the incremental process is reversed and all that has been done to be-co-me so-me-thing we're not that I am thinks into being is just as studiously undone. No blame.