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I took a painkiller and ended up taking an eight hour nap. I guess I needed it after my trip to the capitol. At first, when I woke up this afternoon, I thought I had slept all night and all day, but then I remembered going for breakfast earlier. I must have laid down for a nap after I got home from eating scrambled eggs and grits at the restaurant I've started eating at.
These prescription medicines I take for the rheumatoid arthritis are very powerful. I take a prescription dose of ibuprofen, and if I don't my joints can get very painful. It's probably the drug's anti-inflammatory behavior that helps the most. I'm damned if I do, and I'm damned if I don't take these pills.
If I don't take the ibuprofen I can barely stand up, and even when I do it can be very painful. My feet can be so swollen and inflamed from gout I can barely make it down the stairs in the mornings to brew coffee. This can be very emotional to deal with too. It was painful in my youth to learn to use my limbs, and it's painful in my dotage to learn that I won't have the power to stand on my own two feet forever. What a drag, man.
When I do take the ibuprofen it's a lot better. It's still a bit awkward moving around sometime, but there is not so much pain when even a little bit of the inflammation is reduced. Still again, it's that much better when I get a prescription for a few weeks of prednisone. All the pain goes away and I get real cocky like I was prize fighter again.
The problem I got is just that simple. With anti-inflammation drugs I can get around in a fairly adequate way, and without them life gets really tough. Some anti-inflammatory drugs work better than others, but there is also a heavier price to pay. Presently, I'm totally consumed with how I feel physically, and whether I can plan ahead for activities that require some dexterity or not.
That's my life these days. I don't think it would make much difference if I was a billionaire. There is not much anybody can do for me that being able to find good help would solve. Sure, it might be nice to have some things done for me. Like somebody to reach for things that hurt too much to do, but if I had somebody to do things for me I'd go downhill faster from self-indulgence.
I came into a couple of xanax pills. A half of one of them really helps me to sleep a solid 8-10 hours. That seems to help a lot. The inflammation in my bones itself contributes to tiring me out. An old friend of mine seems to have returned. Chronic fatigue. It always seemed to make hallucinate back when I was a bum. Maybe I'll start seeing some strange shit now. That might be a welcomed distraction.
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I do not attempt to tell the God's own truth here because I don't know what the truth is or hardly ever. I try to capture the drifting thoughts that randomly appear in my imagination for reasons I may not understand. I don't know if the content I capture with these words is true or false. The Comments settings are turned off to prevent me from having to defend what amounts to little more than fanciful, sometime crude speculation. Great moments in our lives never return.
