Living A Life Of No Blame

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The ability to create metaphors continuously in the specious present is a goal I didn't really know I had previously proposed to myself as a way to walk through the world bearing no blame. I must have been gifted to conduct this quest because I'm just plain-assed nosy. My maternal grandmother (the only grandmother I actually knew) constantly complained upon our visits to her house that I was 'a nosy kid', and implied that the world might be better off if somebody shot me with shit and then killed me for stinking. As a result she is still in purgatory waiting for me to forgive her. '-)

I may not be joking. One day a few years ago I was asked to use hypnosis to help this artist-in-residence woman to re-experience the moment of birth in which inhaled her first breath. She was a pretty young woman, and I was in the mood (being a hypnotist is booring, being hypnotized can be exciting), and so, with my brother and his wife there to protect her if I got demonic, we proceeded to have a unproductive hypnosis session.

It was unproductive in the sense that she never got to re-experience her own birth. No blame. It was her first hypnotic trance experience. With some excitable people it takes them a while to trust that they'll be okay if they let themselves relax their guard enough to reach the somnambulistic trance state in which the birthing can be evoked.

It took me decades to consciously relax enough to realize I had shot past the somnambulistic trance state looking for something more than it actually was. Typical for somebody born with the planet Mercury located in the constellation Aries. Even unconflicted configurations that involve the astrology sign Aries frequently have to tone down their expectations to keep from reaching further for some result they lust for.

The aforementioned "artist-in-residence" was born when the Sun was in the constellation Aries. I could have guided her where she needed to go in order to get what she thought she wanted, but it might take months of weekly sessions that neither of us were interested in pursuing. But, she did get deep enough in trance to leap out on her own to escape what she didn't really want in the first place.

She interrupted me during my futile patter to say that she was experiencing being in an old colonial period style farm house. I asked her to describe what she "saw" there. She was quiet for a while, then she stated that she was in the attic of the house and there was an old woman there who said she had a message for me.

Huh? Talk about yer unexpected surprises! Damn! I got real interested, real fast. "Tell me." After three decades of hypnotizing people I've come to understand that the trance works better if I give my subjects lots of wiggle room. It seems to help if I keep things simple and leave them a lot of open-ended short phrases to encourage them to fill in the blanks like I was the dummy and they have to explain things in detail so I can "get it"

She said the old woman explained to her that she was in some sort of holding pattern she had been in since she had croaked, and it was because of the way she had treated me as a child. Evidently she need me to forgive her for her misdeeds. She had spanked me a few times during my parents visits to her house during the summers over the years.

Mostly for being nosy. Once for me and one of my female cousins playing "I'll show you mine, if you'll show me yours", and she caught us visually exploring each others nakid bodies, but before we got to the touchy-feely part. We were around five years old. She tanned our naked little butts with no quarter, and raged around a houseful of reunionees with a vengeance.

That may have been the incident in question. I asked the artist-in-residence to ask the old woman in her vision to provide specific information so that I might be able to find a ritual to use to forgive her, but she had faded because the artist-in-residence broke the trance to go pee.

In contemplating my own life it's become fairly apparent to me that I may have more than my share of curiosity than your average bear, but I don't currently thing that's the fundamental problem with living a life of no blame. That fundamental problem could be that I am is a little to courageous when it comes to pursuing what's curious to me. Too much bravado. Altogether too willing to put everything that means anything to anybody "on the line" by my impulsive responses to wot's sot before me.

I don't have a clue how to forgive my grandmother for her supposed sins against my nature. Whatever she did she wasn't responsible for curbing my immense curiosity. It's still ready to range forth further than it ever needs too. I don't try to keep it restrained so much as to dismiss the results it obtains by going batshit crazy.

My enjoyment of going "batshit crazy" itself has much to do with remaining the fool I've always sort of enjoyed being. Not everybody I've met has the talent and desire to go over the top with simple pleasure as I am is can. My eternal question appears to be: Why would I not?

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