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A few minutes ago I found myself responding to my favorite victim of the last decade or so, that he had "wasted his life judging the dead. " Then I attached this quote from the Gospel of Thomas:
52 His disciples said to him, "Twenty-four prophets have spoken in Israel, and they all spoke of you."
He said to them, "You have disregarded the living one who is in your presence, and have spoken of the dead."
http://users.misericordia.edu//davies/thomas/Trans.htm
Granted, I projected my idea of myself upon this undeserving target, but he's very strong and coated with teflon so I don't feel so mean spirited. Why else would I use him as a mirror to find out about my own wasted life. I've told him several times previously that he's wasted his life. This time I provided a reason he has wasted his life.
It's helpful to me to find out what I think I've wasted my life for. Hmm... there's the "for" word again. "... what I've wasted my life 'for'". I became addicted to mentally attaching a special significance to the 'for' word back when I was reading Sartre's Being and Nothingness a year or two ago. Hyphenated terms like "being-for-myself" and "being-for-the-other."
It doesn't surprise me much that I seem convinced that judging the dead past is pretty much a waste of ti-me. If I created a rule of conscience at all about that conviction it exists as a guideline to remind me to let 'judging the dead past' go, and move on if I find myself dwelling there. Copping to this attitude is based on the ancient adage, "If you snooze, you lose".
In regard to my ongoing world view for the past few decades, my most reliable subjective observations seem to have been gained by contemplating my own life in light of what I accuse others of being. It's my opinion that I can only accuse them of being me. Poor child-like innocents who are too busy judging me as themselves to remain completely free of blame.
I've slowly become more and more aware that my current behavior depends on letting my conscience be my guide. That's not news. My ongoing behavior from any time in the past has depended on the rules of conscience I haphazardly, unknowingly adopted, and did so first without a clue of the long range implications.
It seems like I have invariably adopted the metaphor of a pig nosing around for food to eat to represent the process of gnosis in my personal needs. Specifically the kind of pig the farmers in France use to locate truffles. I don't know why. I've never eaten real truffles to know what they are or taste like as a singularity.
I constantly "nose around" in my subconscious seeking ancient rules of conscience that no longer get me where I wanna go and rudely eliminate them. Rudely, you say? Yes, I can express my natural talent for being rude and as crude as I like with myself. Why would I not? Nobody knows.
The possibility that I did and still do generate an abstract traffic light (a rule of conscience) for keeping my nose to the grassroots in order to track down the drumbeat I unconsciously follow just makes good sense to me. I got rules of conscience for being the kind of person other people want of me and for-themselves that constantly need culling. Sometime I enjoy it. Sometime I don't.
The entirety of my database mining is based on finding and supporting my own experiences instead of somebody else's experience that I ripped off (interpreted) from a media event (graven images). I use the expression "graven images" beyond the idea of statues and pictures to include engraving agreed upon symbols on various materials like parchment, papyrus, and paper. You know, the stuff the papacy stores in the bowels of the Vatican. '-)
Books in general are based on the writer/creator's experience in the best of all worlds. Their stories may be wonderful and inspiring, but they're not my stories nor my interpretation of the mysteries of life. It's contemplating my own experiences that occur because of my own outlook that gets me where I wanna go. YMMV
I didn't just tell my outraged mirror that he has wasted his life judging dead people's unknowable behaviors, but that he was stupid for doing it. Again with the "for" word. I gotta figure why I'm using the term "for" so much for. Don't I? Shit happens. Things change. No blame.
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I do not attempt to tell the God's own truth here because I don't know what the truth is or hardly ever. I try to capture the drifting thoughts that randomly appear in my imagination for reasons I may not understand. I don't know if the content I capture with these words is true or false. The Comments settings are turned off to prevent me from having to defend what amounts to little more than fanciful, sometime crude speculation. Great moments in our lives never return.
