From the Gospel of Thomas and the Gnostic Library found buried in Egypt.
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84. Jesus said, "When you see your likeness, you are happy. But when you see your images that came into being before you and that neither die nor become visible, how much you will have to bear!"
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I think this directly relates to what i call my remembering vision, and subsequently all the things I made myself into before I brought this me into being. The way the above saying relates to what I've experienced is about what I "saw" in my vision. What I saw was myself as pearl-like creature that was attracted to Earth by it's rich colors. Like one of those strange cuttlefish that uses it's ability to produce neon-like color configurations to conjure food into it's jaws. I was attracted to Earth.
The most significant problem with my attraction and fascination with the things of the world was that I couldn't go back out into the open space of the universe to continue my unending sojourn. I was trapped here, and from that point where I understood this, about all I could do was to hang out and wait for the arrival of my man Friday to help me while away my non-isness until this planet blew up or otherwise lost it's hold of gravity over Me.
I don't know where this pearl-like entity came from. That wasn't a part of the deal. The only purpose for it in the first place was only revealed by what happened after it arrived, and I'm totally speculating on that assertion.
There were other pearl-like creatures were already here when I arrived. They were making themselves into things they reckoned would get them back into the unfathomable space of the universe. They made themselves into things employing their urge to life. This is full-blown monte urge. Not the demi-urge. I'd have to reach for the Genesis myth to describe that, but that was a long, long time away from my first arrival.
When I write that these pearl-like entities were "making themselves into things", I'm attempting describe a process that would later be recognized as evolution. They made themselves into thing by imitating what the others were doing. They were keeping up with the Jones right away. This IS the urge I referred to earlier. It seems so strange to describe something as odd as creating through mimicry. In my opinion and remembering vision (which nobody saw but me) that how we did it.
We? Yes. I joined the party and started imitating what the other pearls were doing. It was the only game in town. It's not like we even knew what we were doing. To do that requires another abstract sort of consciousness that was billions of Earth years away. I can tell what that other required consciousness is. It's not a secret. It's only hidden by paradox and misdirection. This other consciousness is what springs from what other people see when they LOOK at us. We create their expectation via the same old tricks that got us to the big game. We creatively imitated what they expected of us into being-for-the-other.
The pearl-like creature I arrived here as was already a being-for-itself. Desire. The urge to life. That's what got jiggy with the evolution thing. Evolution is not created to please the being-for-itself. The being-for-itself is what works the urge to life to create bodies for life to live in during their stay on Earth. It's sorta like an oyster that builds it's own home and soothes it's sandy irritability by coating it with spit.
As a for-itself I found myself totally ignoring those creatures I made myself into that didn't get the job done. They didn't ever have the ability to launch me back into space. So, I abandoned them to their hopping around, and got to work on the next best thing. Mimicking my fellow pearls.
To relate this back to the opening saying, I'm writing about how the experiences I had making myself into things through imitation was recorded in what some call the egg-like human aura. I say pearl-like, but I ain't picky. Every microbe or animal or plant I used the urge to life to create seems to have been recorded in the pearl's aura no matter what it made itself into.
This record of what I'd made myself into through me-me-cry (yes, there are two me's now) is what was revealed to me in my remembering vision. I don't see human auras. I don't even see mine in real time, but it was revealed to me in a weird vision, and sorting it out has preoccupied me obsessively for most of my adult life. Why would it not?
I do not attempt to tell the God's own truth here because I don't know what the truth is or hardly ever. I try to capture the drifting thoughts that randomly appear in my imagination for reasons I may not understand. I don't know if the content I capture with these words is true or false. The Comments settings are turned off to prevent me from having to defend what amounts to little more than fanciful, sometime crude speculation. Great moments in our lives never return.
