Oops?

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I know things run in cycles, but I'm surprised at the big slow down on the AppleScript list. There were as many as a hundred posts a day (probably due to the Snow Leopard upgrade to 64-bits), and yesterday there were only two posts. Somehow I didn't expect that on a discussion list that's basically non-personal.

I got up real early this morning. I know exactly why. I got tired and the couple of naps I took didn't really help me stay alert during meditation. I got so drowsy I found it difficult to sit up straight. I watched a little Letterman, and went nodding during the show, so I went to bed.

I woke up this morning and went online, and there was Letterman on the news site confessing that he had been lovers with some of his female employees on the show last night. I missed that part of it. I might have gone to sleep anyway.

Letterman is human. He has a lotta money and power. Women are attracted to him for that alone, much less any personal reason either might have to screwing around. Men work to get rich and powerful in order to attract women. It worked out for both. What's wrong with that?

I went from reading the article on Letterman's confession to reading an article on a British sensationalist newspaper about why women have sex. Hey, it was four o'clock in the morning and I couldn't sleep. It was that or watch early morning TV. You know what that's like.

I enjoyed the article. I didn't disagree that women's reasons for acquiescing to allow sex to happen can be any reason or excuse they themselves can live with. I don't think men need a reason, only an opportunity, and the article appeared to agree with that notion.

http://www.guardian.co.uk/lifeandstyle/2009/sep/28/sex-women-relationships-tanya-gold

I became especially aware of the impersonal nature of sex after I initiated a vasectomy procedure in or around 1980. I was not very insightful about what the results of have that done could be. One of the results of being neutered was that knowing that I couldn't impregnate a woman anymore made me irrefutably aware that procreation was the bottom line reason for having sex, and reason itself had very little to do with it.

After the vasectomy was performed I was left without the ability to get women pregnant unless I had the vasectomy reversed. I've never regretted it or wanted to reverse it. The whole of my emotional makeup has changed or at least become more recognizable for what it actually was/is. With my ex-wife's written agreement, I put the procreative aspect of my sexuality behind me, and the recreative part of it soon followed. The latter was unexpected.

The world went on without my sperm spraying helter-skelter wherever it would at the slightest motivation. The thousands of sex partners I had engaged with couldn't have cared less if I had died instead including all the significant other is my life. I had been emasculated for all ti-me.

It amazes me at how this fits with my natal astrology chart. I don't know whether astrology made me do what I did or whether I have used astrology to rationalize what I did. Either way, I did do what I actually did, and it was accompanied by adequate counseling and was a decision approached by reflection and considerable contemplation.

Frankly, I was basically just curious about what I might experience if I went through the vasectomy. I like being curious. My curiosity has been with me even before my arrival here on Earth, and it'll be with me when I get bored with physicality again.

That's my proudest accomplishment as far as the Earth school is concerned. Namely, that I have realized in full consciousness that the three aspects of my soul that accompany me endlessly throughout the universe is curiosity, memory, and will.

Granted, that doesn't seem like much to take on God with, but it's all anybody else has, so it's a fair fight.
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