The All-Knowing Wisdom Of The Unknowable

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The great man, the superior man, the all-knowing father all mean the sa-me thing to me now. They're all just other names for the Akashic Records. Surrendering oneself to it's influence in real time equates to the state of cosmic consciousness.

To me it goes back to when I went out-of-body to experience that level of understanding working consciously in a couple of college girls, and when I returned to my body sitting over on a sofa in the same room I became aware of being back in my body uttering, "Every thing is no thing, but the idea that it's some thing, and it could be anything at all."

That statement to me indicates a state of cosmic consciousness without the names to distinguish one thing from another. My experiences in this realm seem a little different than what I've read and heard other people say about their own experience.

These other sojourners appear to experience some entity that talks to them and tells them wise things, whereas the entities in my cosmic experiences don't even know I'm there, and if they do, they're not aware I have an ego that could stand a little support.

I don't really hold whatever it is that moves around in my being doing what it wants to do without askance responsible for our lack of some thrilling sort of communications. I make up stories for it just dandy. It doesn't even know what I'm doing, and in the end game, I don't either. I want it to be special for me or at least to give me something that will allow me to appear special myself to others. Big deal. It doesn't even notice.

The real trick that brings fortuitous results happens when I stop fooling myself and stop with the lies I make up about what it's real purpose for being with and within me is all about. It's when I abandon the bullshit and start imitating and mimicking it's behavior when it deigns to be present that I think I'm exhibiting right action.

Thats a little hard to describe, and it makes me feel as foolish as all get out, but when I give up on trying to get this docetic spirit to act like the savior I was taught to believe it is that I feel like I'm doing the right thing for myself.

What I'm writing about is behaving toward this docetic spirit with the same adoring attitude that I might display toward any hero that I wanted to act like. Sports heroes for instance. If I wanted to be a better golfer (or a golfer at all), I'd imitate Sam Snead or Jack Nicholas or Tiger Woods.

It's not easy to let go of what stops me from observing this entity while it's doing what it does. Much less to watch what it's doing in order to attempt to act like that myself. It's not always there when I set about to do that. I don't have the slightest control over it's comings and goings.

Many times, even when I've let go of the abstract constructions I view the world with, and I'm aware of it moving through my body doing whatever it likes, I can't be-co-me with it in order to get a sense of why it's doing what it's doing, and without knowing it's purpose I got nothing but shadows dancing in the dark.

My conscious realization that these symbols I've been taught to respect and have learned through my subjective experiences are symbolic of the sa-me entity seems to be a big deal. It's all happened in the last couple of weeks. I may be wrong, but it seems to have been precipitated by the suffering I experienced when I stopped taking the arthritis medicine.

It appears to have been when I started the pain medicine again because I couldn't stand it, in tripped these unifying thoughts that always seem to lead toward another phase of atonement. It's kind of lonesome to be alone with this, but nobody knows, and that can't be changed on my dime.
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