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The wife of a man I graduated from high school with died suddenly from cancer a week after she had been diagnosed. The doctors had said she had a year or more, but it didn't happen. A bit of a shock for my classmate I suppose. I say "suppose" because I don't know this fellow well as an adult. We only saw each other occasionally in passing.
I didn't know him that well back in high school either. We had a confrontation at the bottom of a stairwell one day. I might have said something that offended him. He turned suddenly and shoved me back against the stairs, and invited me to get up and fight. I could tell by the strength with which he shoved me that wasn't a good idea.
It was a turning point in a way. I thought about whether my refusal to fight that day was an indication that I was a coward for years after that. The incident turned out the way other incidences would in which I'd rather retreat to fight another day. After all, I was born in the Chinese Year of the Hare. Sometimes it's insightful to act like a rabbit would.
The bull is another animal that's prominent in my natal chart. I was born with the Sun and Moon both in the sign Taurus. The other member of the big three in astrology, the Ascendent or Rising sign has two animals that oppose each other. The eagle and the snake-in-the-grass. I can be-co-me with any of these animals with power. Either that or slither or hop into the briar patch until the future looks brighter or just fly away... "Oh Glory, I'll fly away...".
One of the biggest surprises to me about my true nature is that I am is an intellectual. Sure, it's a little arrogant of me to state that, but I got pronounced to be such by a nineteen year college sophomore, and who would know better than a know-it-all like that. I mentally decided that it was a stupid idea to get up off those stairs and fight a losing battle. That trait would plague me and reward me for the rest of my life. I'm a decider when it comes to me being myself, and that affects everybody around me.
The man whose wife died was portrayed as having led a completely different life than I have in his wife's obituary. I didn't have a clue he was a Mason who was politically active. His wife was the County Registrar. As far as I knew he was just a truck driver for a local meat packing plant. When he retired from that he started driving trucks for Wal-Mart. Steady, secure work. He's still stronger and more respectable than me.
The funeral was tonight and the burial is a private service tomorrow. I read where there is a reception after the funeral tonight, and so I'm gonna go to that, but I didn't wanna go at all. There is nothing personal about it being this man's wife, I just don't like going to local funerals.
The problem is that I usually see neighbors who expect me to remember their names, and sometimes it's embarrassing when I obviously don't. Maybe that's why I now keep a white beard that reaches half-way down my chest so they won't expect much, and find the idea of me being senile quite believable.
Luckily, nothing like that happened. I went in the back door where the people were leaving, went inside and my friend was ten feet away. I walked ahead of everybody in line and walked toward him with my hand out. He grabbed it. We smiled at each other, and I was outta there.
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I do not attempt to tell the God's own truth here because I don't know what the truth is or hardly ever. I try to capture the drifting thoughts that randomly appear in my imagination for reasons I may not understand. I don't know if the content I capture with these words is true or false. The Comments settings are turned off to prevent me from having to defend what amounts to little more than fanciful, sometime crude speculation. Great moments in our lives never return.
