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I bought a box of colors from Wal-Mart and used the masonite back of a mirror that had been broken and the shards removed. Thats where the "frame" came from. I just used the prepackaged colours right out of the box because I'd never painted before. I wasn't impressed at first because I'm not a schooled painter. I've never taken any art lessons. That's never stopped me before. I sorta trust that something interesting will come out of whatever I get fooled into doing.
Sometime it takes a while for me to "see" that. It used to cause me a great deal of pain and regret that I could be taken in by charismatics so easily. I've been used by every pervert in the world to prove to me that I am is a fool. But, after the extreme emotional reactions finally calm down and I become inwardly still about being used like Pinocchio, I found that I could be-co-me with my former nemesis's intent, and re-invoke their oratorical skills for myself as if I were them instead of their victim. Some other people need less intimate mentors.
Saturn conjunct a native's natal Sun creates the self-made man. The conjunction in my natal is wide-spread. A conjunction with the Sun and Moon are usually given ten degrees plus or minus to be labeled a conjunctive aspect. Saturn was in 22 degrees Aries in my natal chart, and the Sun was at zero degree, two minutes, thirty-seven seconds into Taurus. Eight degrees apart.
That's why it sometimes takes a long time for the tricks of the trade to kick in when I me-me-click (mimic) my resolute predators. I complain about being the last to know so often. If I caught on quicker to what's wot, maybe I could avoid some of the charismatic tricksters that got their claws out for a tasty meal. But, the doubts and fears I endure for such long periods of ti-me cause some quick-studies to reconsider their hasty conclusions, and that makes me a little cocky I suppose, why would it not? I-am-is-me.
More often than ever, I'm deeply intuiting upon the notion of being born in the Chinese Year of the Hare/Rabbit. Rabbits are prey for a lot of different predators. We taste just like chicken/dinosaurs. I don't stand and fight unless I literally can not possibly under any circumstances get the fuck outta Dodge. I won't defend others too readily either. "Run Forrest, RUN!". That movie really took me in. That's one of the movies that stimulated me along the path of rarely going to movies.
In the times of past,
when I was a boy,
I listened to every word,
and the meaning
of my prayers
was to wash away
the guilt and fears
of doing wrong.
I wasn't strong,
but I'd sing a song.
"What a friend we have..."
The fact that I have a tendency to deal with life's problems by leaving the scene (criminally inspired or no) has brought the damnation of seductive women everywhere on me. It's disgustingly true, but I've been known to leave female companions in the lurch if push comes to shove. I seem to attract the type of woman who "sees" their relationship with me as an avenue to attract other men in the presence of mine enemy. As usual, it took a long ti-me for me to "see" their "seeing", and I still hesitate and lose. It still gives me the blues... so I had to stop... and keep my stopping still.
It's not just women either. In the past, and probably looking forward into the future also, depending on me to be your buddy if you picked a fight with a bunch of ready-made, ass-kicking biker types is not going to improve your chances of getting outta wherever it is unscathed. There's a price to pay you probably won't like, and one that I will not be there to witness.
If I'm with you because you intuited that I was a fool you could use for your own kinky pleasures, I'll create such opportunities as described above to break the spell of your charm, and leave you to hang from your own petards without regret. Why would I not? I don't start fights or respond to such temptations unless there is a briar patch handy.
It may seem as if one of my natural born talents is to create psychological entanglements to serve that specified purpose. I'm too quick to hop on some passing band wagon, any passing bandwagon, and use whatever charismatic skills I've captured from my enablers to go along to get along until I'm outta sight, and mind.
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I do not attempt to tell the God's own truth here because I don't know what the truth is or hardly ever. I try to capture the drifting thoughts that randomly appear in my imagination for reasons I may not understand. I don't know if the content I capture with these words is true or false. The Comments settings are turned off to prevent me from having to defend what amounts to little more than fanciful, sometime crude speculation. Great moments in our lives never return.
