My Almost First Time

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When I joined the Navy when I was eighteen years old I was technically a virgin. One of the reasons I joined the Navy was to rid myself of this albatross that was emotionally eating me alive. I knew better logically, but it seemed like everybody my age in the world was having rampant sex behind closed doors, and I was the only-est guy in the world who reached eighteen years of without getting it on. How could I have known otherwise? Young. Dumb. Fulla cum. Damn!

The first time I was presented with a real opportunity to be with a woman was a total disaster. It was a disaster for the same reason all my other serious attempts failed. I wasn't ignorant. I was not dumb. I was merely innocent of guilt. I hated that. It may have been the only ti-me in my life I could have claimed truly claim innocence, and it tormented me.

The event that never happened came about due to a fellow sailor I hardly knew. We were both in a holding pattern waiting for the electronic classes we were sent to after boot camp. The classes were organized in such a way that allowed for boot camp graduates to return to their family home for a couple of weeks. I didn't take that leave because I had joined the Navy to get away from "home".

The guy was a gawky, slender guy my own age, but he wasn't a virgin. When he asked me if I wanted to go "get some" I went bat-shit crazy with desire. One of the main reasons was that the girls he had lined up for us was sneaking out of a home for pregnant girls. That was pretty much proof positive they weren't virgins, so only one of us had to be shy on that account.

He had a car. I don't know where it came from. He might have been raised right there in San Diego for all I knew, but he had a car, and that's why this whole thing could happen. The girls were going to sneak out of the home and meet us at a corner not far away from the home.

He drove to the corner where we were supposed to meet them, and two young girls ran from behind some shrubbery real furtively and piled into the car giggling and laughing at the idea that they had snuck out and not gotten caught.

The girl who got into the back seat with me was pretty enough, and emitted that soft glow pregnant women get. She looked at me, seemed satisfied with what she saw, and then without another word she put her arms around my neck and started wildly kissing me. I didn't expect that, and her impulsive reaching sort of scared me a little.

She was a good kisser, and I was, after all, an eighteen year old kid, it didn't take long for me to be real interested. Clothes were removed, but I hesitated. She urged me to "Go ahead, it's okay. You have my permission. Git it on, big boy!" I still hesitated.

The young girl's pleas were distracting the action in the front seat. The guy turned in the seat to ask me what my problem was. Suddenly I found myself saying that I couldn't do it because she was pregnant, and I was afraid I might hurt her if I started poking around up in her belly.

He started to assure me that there wasn't gonna be a problem with that, just to go ahead and git thangs done. By the time I realized that my concerns were unfounded, and turned to "git it on", she had already become disgusted with my innocence and began screaming at the couple in the front seat about providing her with the village idiot.

I didn't wait for the rest of her tirade before I opened the car door jumped out to the street, and started running for my life. I was terrified that I had really been stupid. When I ran until I was out of breath, I thought about what they all had said, and how they had looked at me in disgust, and I started running again.

I didn't know where I was or how to get back to the base, but I finally took a street from which I could see San Diego bay, and the base was located at the north end of the bay. It was a long way from where I found myself, but the long walk finally calmed me down.

I was afraid this guy would tell the sailors back at the school and I'd have to put up with being ridiculed, but that didn't happen. The school started, he flunked out in a few weeks, and I never heard of him or saw him again. I guess I learned a little more about girls than I'd ever allowed. Never again would I think they were merely warm and fuzzy toys to play with. They were extremely capable of causing me real and lasting pain.
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