Single-minded-ness

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Once again I started this entry as an e-mail response to some comments from a guy I think probably understands the astrological lingo better than most. I write different stuff when I write "to" somebody rather than "at" anybody who might have the supreme patience required to go the distance.

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I think I agree with you about Einstein needing no more than average intellectual abilities (if that was your intent..), but that's because he had Mercury in Aries.

So do I. In the same sixth degree of Aries. In my own natal chart, Mercury in Aries has no aspects but for a trine to the Midheaven in Leo. That's kind of sad in a way. It's like saying that I only have one outlet for my abstract compositions from which I learn what my subconscious rules of conscience are, and that's to let other people witness what I'm doing.

My description might seem difficult to understand if the reader is not at least vaguely familiar with astrology. Not that it matters whether they do or not. I'm convinced they literally couldn't truly understand what I write if they tried. Like me, they have to interpret what they read to mean what they would have been saying if they wrote the same words.

As far as I'm concerned the fact that nobody knows or can know your private thoughts that represents true freedom. You don't know about you either. Crowley was right in this regard when he stated, "Do what thy will is the whole of the law." Why not? The condition that provides true freedom is that nobody knows your true intent anymore than you know their's. It's just like you've suspected all along. Nobody understands you. They still don't. They never will. So move on. Ain't nobody here but us chickens.

I think that's why I've kept a journal (and lately a few published blogs) since puberty. I wrote only poetry before then (I still do occasionally), but I hadn't gotten this new/old body until a couple of years after the onset of puberty, and that, of course, changed everything. I write for what I get out of it during the process of capturing drifting thoughts with woids in the right damn now.

Why would I not? Like with dreams, the drifting thoughts I track in order to describe them move their wispiness deeper into the dying past, and if either of us employs a tractor beam to keep up, I am instantly becomes insignificantly astonished and "of the past" without presence of mind to fight the constant influx of oxymoronic dragons self-assembling to satisfy gravity and the event horizon of our favorite black hole. '-)

What more can I do to expose the outdated, passe rules of conscience to my conscious awareness, if my sole access to my unconscious mental activities only becomes known to me when I literally and virtually expose my private thoughts with any passing stranger who mistakenly clicks the wrong link (Midheaven in Leo). This sort of behavior is truly idiotic to the astonished bewilderment of my secretive Scorpio Ascendent.

The feature of any emphasis on Aries-tainted stuff is it's ability to ignore the world and focus on a single object. I honestly don't understand why anybody would need to meditate to achieve the same unified state I've lived in forever. It's getting out of that box that's my problem. I will fight you to stay there. I will desert you. I will throw any chance of a loving relationship away to do it. Mentally, I seem perpetually in solitary confinement, yet I choose to live alone. 

I've never been able to juggle. Ever. I've sincerely tried because I consider not being able to juggle a sort of wimpy-ass weakness. I despise people who catch on to juggling in ten minutes. There's more of them than you would think. You might be one yourself... you bastard! '-)

What a drag, man. I only learned the hard way that other people can easily keep at least two balls in the air by traveling alone with the Gemini woman who was to become my second ex-wife. She could multi-task like all git out, and kindly demonstrated her gifts daily on our inelegant tour around the continental U.S. that took three months. Much later she told me her initial attraction to me was my ability to immediately focus on what's wot easily. I could easily do what she found practically impossible, yet she could juggle like nobody's business.

Jack Sprat could eat no fat,
and his wife could eat no lean...

I probably only "got it" from her about multi-tasking because we were alone together with no awkward distractions on a daily basis for a lengthy period of ti-me.

I'm speculating about this as usual, but I suspect it's that natural gift for focusing on one object or idea (fairly common in Arian configurations) that allowed Einstein "to go where no man had gone before." Aries is ruled by Mars/Ares the Greek war god. That's where it gets kinky. Ares the barbarian likes to hold on to that singular focus for long periods of ti-me with the ferocity of a warrior. Practically all the various "gods of war" from all the innumerable cultures that have come and gone were known for being some hateful mofos. War is hell.
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