Ask, And It Will Be Given

I'm feeling a little blase today. Lazy might be a better word for it. It's getting chilly at night now. While that makes for good sleeping, it also makes getting up during the night and in the mornings more of a challenge. I don't heat my house during the night when I'm in bed. I don't heat it much in the daytime either. I only got a space heater, and that's alright with me. At least the wind isn't blowing through my house like it used to for years.

I've always known I'm seen as a weirdo, but I rationalize my own behavior to go along with that. People come to my house and wonder how I've lived like this, and every year it's gotten better. It's just a hooch, man, not an investment. When I become immortal, I'll build a better house. On the other hand, if I become immortal, I won't need a house.

I guess I'm grateful to have any sort of way to get outta the weather. There have been lots of time when that wasn't possible at any one moment. I didn't have any place to get in out of the rain, much less to shield myself from a cold wind. I wasn't trying real hard. There was just only so much I was willing to do to live like other people. It never was a life or death situation as a general rule. For one thing I migrated south in the winter.

Not when I was working. I did work. Not unless I had to, but I did work. I had lots of jobs. I worked at a lotta different types of jobs until i learned how to weld pipe. Then I did pretty much the same job in different locations. I still had a lotta jobs. Road whore. Time jobs. Shutdowns. Two weeks at a time. The last job I had working in industrial construction was the longest job I had in construction, but I wasn't on my tools anymore. I drew a salary. They got gypped. They knew it and didn't wanna do anything about it. Ninety percent of a good job is just showing up on time.

I worked in quality control. On paper the job called for a degree in mechanical engineering, but I don't have any sort of degree. I had lots of experience specifically in the field i was working. I don't read blueprints any better than I read sheet music. I can figure either one of them out with time, I just don't sight read blueprints or musical scores. That's doing things the hard way as fair as I'm concerned.

Instead, I learned to make people into what they need to be to get things done. Most of the time they were very, very surprised to become conscious they could do what they never figured they could, but they were very, very pleased when they found out it was easy. Easy as long as I was around.

This has only been going on with some deliberation for about the last decade. Mostly after I woke up to hear an authoritative voice telling me to "Stop using the I Ching." I really didn't wanna do that. I'd been doing it practically daily for over thirty years. I didn't know how to conduct my affairs without it. That's probably why I was told to stop.

I did stop using the I Ching as an oracle, but i still had all these questions about life. If I don't have any questions about life, then I don't have a quest in life, and if I don't have a quest in life, then i don't feel human. i had to do something. Something that would be "like" using the I Ching as an oracle, but not actually.

I started using other people as oracles. Why would I not? They didn't know they couldn't do it. Well over ninety percent of them didn't know what an oracle is, much less that they could become One just because I asked them to. After all, when all was said and done I had stopped using the tarot cards for reading palms because I didn't like relying on physical implements. Abandoning the use of the Yellow Book and replacing it with people because more and more inviting.

I used to read palms as a way to get along when I was out on the road, and when I stopped for a while too. It was a fascinating way to relate to people. Only as a stranger. My reading palms was as haphazard as it might have appeared. I read everything I ever saw written on doing readings. Not just palms, but astrology, and Tarot card readings. It's just a form of what some people call channeling.

I don't channel any specific entity or see myself as channelling entities at all. It might be that i do, but I'm just not aware of it, and feel no need to pretend I am. As you might have read in the blog heading, I call it catching drifting thoughts with words. It's not the truth. I wouldn't know the truth if it bit me in the ass. It's just wot sots itself before me in real time and begs for expression. It wants to be a real boy too.