The Future Is The Past

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The anticipation of a waiting period comes back into my life in an active mode. The "free phone" I applied for is still in the works. It could be a rip-off, but it was mentioned during the news broadcast of a major TV network, and the man who now lives as my neighbor apparently got one, so I think my chances are pretty good.

Since yesterday, I'm waiting to find out if the company I used my debit card to purchase some .9999 % pure silver #10 gauge wire from is honest and reliable. The only thing they have to do to earn my respect (it's not really sought for by many) is to send me the goods. They already have my money.

Something else that may be working with the lesions I'm having problems with is the fresh aloe juice I've been applying. I've had these lesions on my feet for some years now. They come and go, but not because of anything I've done to bring a healing around. There are plenty of aloe plants over in my brother's greenhouse, so why not use them?

These lesions have everything to do with the autoimmune diseases that have shown up in the last decade or so. They are somehow associated with the rheumatoid arthritis. Nothing I've used to get them to heal up has worked until I applied the Silverdene. All I care about is that it works. If I can get this colloid silver thing going on I should be better preserved in the near future.

I've spent considerable internet time reading up on the effects of using silver colloids. It's been going on a long time, but only since the discovery and civilization of electricity has it been available in the colloid form. The articles I've been reading state that the silver colloids produce better results than the Silverdene cream I've been applying.

The major use of it results from drinking it. Putting it inside your body. It is famous for killing 650 gut bacterias, including the useful ones. The reason this interests me is the other articles I've read in which various doctors seem convinced that most autoimmune diseases are caused by the excrement of certain gut bacterias.

The fact that the Silverdene is famous for killing bacteria and fungi encourages me to believe these lesions are caused by one or the other, and if that's so, then they are not necessarily caused by the rheumatoid arthritis. I guess I'm gonna find out soon if the silver man ships the wire as promised.

The small package I mailed to my daughter with the childhood pictures and school drawings she and her sister made was the second package I've sent in the last month or so. She took it to mean that I might be considering suicide, so I sent her an e-mail to warn her it was coming.

I included a couple of photographs of me. Not so much for her pleasure, but to show her what her mother fell in love with and that she was born into a loving situation. Her mother only started hating me after our/her second child was born.

I write "our/her" due her mother informing me rather tersely during my visit to Seattle for our oldest child's second wedding that they are not my children due to our divorce. I sometime wonder if that's the literal truth, and why ultimately she got a divorce from me.

All I know is that I did the right thing by marrying her so she would have the child legitimately. Whether I was the real father or not wasn't the point at the time. It would be better for the world if I were to exhibit such careactor in other aspects of my life, but I have to follow my own angels.

My house can use a lotta cleaning and throwing out of stuff I don't use anymore. I got stuff I thought in the past that I might need in the future, but now that it is the future and I don't have much of a future left to save for, it's time to burn all that stuff in the trash pile.

I'm burning all the letters I wrote to my parents that my mother saved for me. All my past report cards from the first grade onward. All my old writings and journals that got spared from similar burnings in the past. There will be nothing left of who I used to be by Spring. No blame.

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