I've spent all morning trying to stir up some trouble, but the fish ain't biting yet. Despite that I'm very pleased to have projected this attribute of myself upon my pen pal Jack in a conversation he brought up about religious fundamentalists. He rejects them, and this is my ill-considered response:
""They" can't reject what they refuse to understand any better than you can't reject what you de-liberately ignore. You don't possess any knowledge superior to the people you patronize. You just wrap it up in "a cacaphony of cognitively dissonant gibberish" to make it seem that way."
The quote, "a cacophony of cognitively dissonant gibberish" is Jack's words in an earlier post. I like that turn of words even though I didn't compose it. Since I have no choice but to project my own idea of myself upon the other, using this expression seems like a clever way for me to feign being honest about my feelings in the future. I'll hide my deceit behind a cacophony of cognitively dissonant gibberish like Jack apparently would, and blame Jack if his pigs don't fly.
When Jack and I communicated in this rather rude fashion this morning, I already knew that I hide the fact that I'm no more clever than your average clever person. I've knowed for a long ti-me. I do cover it up by being crafty in a back-on-my-heels sort of way. Mostly I hide my ordinariness these days with what I call "tossed word salad". It's a sort of gibberish that threatens to make sense without actually getting my reader over the hump. That's loads of fun for me. I like the idea of leaving people in suspended animation just for sport. Whether that actually happens or not is anybody's guess.
Hiding my run-of-the-mill persona from the roar of the crowd and the smell of the greasepaint hasn't been an easy habit to git shed of. I've grown to gnow that nobody knows or can know that I'm actually nothing special. That's why my act is superfluous and needs to be dispensed with, but I'm clinging to my delusions for lack of a worthy replacement.
I only realized how I was attempting to dupe the whole world with "cognitively dissonant" bullshit after I had studied astrology for a decade or two. The better I got at using astrological lingo in some brazen attempt to buffalo the world, and convince them I was "smarter than the average bear", the sadder I became as I began to realize I was painting myself in a corner.
I was attempting to use a lingo very few people understand and never will. I might as well have been speaking Sanskrit to order hot dogs here in the belly of the whale, and waiting expectantly for these good ol' boys 'round hyah to praise me for it, instead of cutting me on my face to leave a scar for spiting them.
That's not any different than what the medical or legal profession does for a living. They working a lingo. Lingoes are mo' powerful than mojos. They demand a higher fee, and they usually want up-front money to satisfy themselves you'll pay up whether they're successful in they pretentious conjuring or no.
I do not attempt to tell the God's own truth here because I don't know what the truth is or hardly ever. I try to capture the drifting thoughts that randomly appear in my imagination for reasons I may not understand. I don't know if the content I capture with these words is true or false. The Comments settings are turned off to prevent me from having to defend what amounts to little more than fanciful, sometime crude speculation. Great moments in our lives never return.
