Being obsessed is a regular situation in my life. I've had a virtual run of "magnificent obsessions" one after the other since childhood. I'm constantly confused over whether my obsessions are self-generated or introduced from an external source. Maybe both at the sa-me ti-me. It causes me to write in tossed-word-salad terms with a lotta hyphenating going on. Sometime I like to use three periods in a row ... as if to say "blah, blah, blah" or "et cetera and so on..."
To be obsessed in the way I am is using the term seems necessary for most people to make themselves into an expert of about any kind. One of the most notable examples is an American medical doctor. I'm not a doctor, so I'm guessing that the med students who aspire to be-co-me a licensed member of the AMA have to be obsessive about their entire approach to life if they wanna get through the process. Other kinds of obsessions like for gambling or overeating can have less positive results.
Sometime I think that if I don't have some interest or project to obsess about I am is not so happy. To counter that I have learned to obsess on doing nothing. I have a lotta ways of doing that. Most conspicuously has to be meditating, but any activity I can obsess on will do. Like writing. When I fall into a flow of creating and editing, a process I call composing, as if poetry, but not... the world goes away... and I-am-is at one with me.
One of the more interesting side-effects of meditating for me is how I count my inhales and exhales as I use breathing as a focus point to enter never-never land. Well? It is Peter Pan-like. I fall into the void pretty much like falling off my bed when I am is dreaming either by day or by night. I don't usually ride a horse and scream "The British are 'coming..." at the top of my lungs or hang lanterns in church steeples, but the breathe is an important part of my meditation practice.
I've used various lengths of counting my breaths to bring myself into focus with nothingness. I have a much deeper understanding of nothingness now. It's the result of my denying the otherwise undefined elements of the cosmic soup of the plenitude.
The assertive plaint of "You are not me" creates the nothingness I am uses to provide a ground for upsurging into being. Once done, and the very denial of all that I am is not, surrounds me and provides me with a ground-of-being, the question becomes: How do I consciously reclaim the possibles I left behind in the fullness of the Id?
Confused yet? Why would you not be? I'm still working this out, and this is the best I've been able to come up with. There is always tomorrow for as long as there is one, and then...
I do not attempt to tell the God's own truth here because I don't know what the truth is or hardly ever. I try to capture the drifting thoughts that randomly appear in my imagination for reasons I may not understand. I don't know if the content I capture with these words is true or false. The Comments settings are turned off to prevent me from having to defend what amounts to little more than fanciful, sometime crude speculation. Great moments in our lives never return.
