I got up early this morning, and did what I was instructed to do to be ready to have "the procedure" performed UPON me. The whole deal was anticlimactic. As entertainment, except for the OR drugs, it was just more hanging around in big, institutional waiting rooms waiting until the jig is up.
My loyal youngest brother cheerfully took me back over to the VA again this morning, after having had his services falsely commandeered due to my personal lack of understanding about what was going to happen on the first round of appointments.
The only impressions I have of what happened today is about what happened before anything happened, and then afterward when whatever happened was all over.
In other words, it wasn't long after the OR team nurse put in the ubiquitous IV and taped it down in a very professional manner, that any control over my response to what might have or could have happened after that was seriously impeded. This ain't my first rodeo. I've lost control over my intent previously in similar situations. I was pretty sure when the pleasant, smiling woman inserted a syringe needle into the input node on the IV asked me to repeat my name and the last four numbers of my social security number, that I'd be a goner.
I first became consciously aware again of what was going on in my immediate environment because I was commanded to. "Wake up. Our work is done. I'll help you sit up in bed, then put your clothes back on, and we might see you later if you have another appointment."
What was I to do but obey? I had been in a "no-mind" situation for some undetermined amount of Earth ti-me, and now that I had made the return to the ti-me of the day by command, the only thing I could think of next was to cave immediately and just do it.
When she helped me sit up and handed me the plastic bag with my clothes in it, she smiled, competently turned heel and left me to my own devices. I heard my brother talking his junk in the next room, and that brought everything in focus. That's just his way of telling me, "I'm here." Nice fellow, my youngest brother. The perfect foil for my villain act. We have literally worked side by side over half the country.
I do not attempt to tell the God's own truth here because I don't know what the truth is or hardly ever. I try to capture the drifting thoughts that randomly appear in my imagination for reasons I may not understand. I don't know if the content I capture with these words is true or false. The Comments settings are turned off to prevent me from having to defend what amounts to little more than fanciful, sometime crude speculation. Great moments in our lives never return.
