Red Bug Stew

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That "little birdy in the sky" poem keeps popping into my mind recently. We've had a serious cold snap in the area lately. Usually these events only happen every couple of winters, but they don't last long. Three days before, three days after. Presently, however, another cold front that's even colder than the one that's here now is dropping down from the north, and the temperature will not be above freezing even at midday for the next few days. This does not bode well for my arthritis.

The only way to solve this problem that I know about is to migrate south to where it's warm. Anywhere at sea level in Mexico might do the trick. That takes dinero, and I ain't got enough to pull that off. It's living off the dole that puts me in this situation. Getting old and wanting comfort for my old bones will itself be the death of me.

I turned on the TV in order to see the weather reports. It's worse, not better. It's gonna freeze all the winter crops in Florida. What a drag, man. People hurting already from the bank failures, and now the money they managed to get to buy seed and fertilizer will be gone for many people who actually know what they're doing.

Somebody will always be willing to take a shot at farming if the money is right, but they won't have much experience to rely on. There is a lot of intuition in knowing when to plant and when to hold back a week or so. If the produce farmers wait too late to plant the market can come and go before their product is ready for harvesting. The window for profit or loss is often unpredictable.

I won't be going to the greasy spoon to eat today. The mood there will be gloomy amongst the farmers. It's not that the local farmers will have stuff at risk at this time of year, but they sympathize with the farmers further south who are gonna lose everything.

One winter I saw the weather reports about a huge cold front dropping down out of Canada that would reach most of Florida. I had a little expendable cash at at the time, and I wasn't working, so I decided to drive down to Key West to escape the cold. My plan didn't work like I'd hoped. Key West had a record low from that system, and the temperature never got above 50 degrees the whole time I was there.

On the way back from that unsuccessful jaunt there was 13" of snow in Jacksonville, Florida, and when I finally got back home all the water pipes in my house had frozen and busted. I had to repipe my whole house. That took a lotta time and money, and put a lotta stress on me in my role as a miser.

I oughta feel sorry for myself, I suppose, for putting myself in the position of having to do everything connected with my well being for myself. I do have some friends and relatives that help me. Some mightily. But, for the most part, everything that happens around here happens only because I get off my ass to do it. Otherwise... not.

I could give it up to depression. I've done it before and even committed myself to the insane asylum to find out how that goes. Not a solution for me, but I know from personal experience that it's not a path with heart. Yet, the older I get the more intimately I understand that that day will come when I won't be able to do for myself, not even pull the trigger if need be, to protect or defend.

I know exactly how to manipulate the world I've created for myself. I also know how not to. It's just a matter of how close I can come to the bitter end without conceding to the inevitable.

I know something about bitterness. Whether what I claim as my own will be enough to deal with wot's sot before me unexpectedly in some unknown future has to be questionable, but bitterness can hide the opportunity to take the A-train when it stops at my station. So, how can I come to my end without succumbing to bitterness?

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