Be-co-me-ing Yo' Own Parents Is Blasphemy

I have to buy lottery tickets. I don't hae a choice. I keep putting things off by saying I'll do them when I win the lottery, and if I don't keep a valid lottery ticket, then I'm just lying to myself, and know it. There, I was reading my ass off about AppleScript, and suddenly the lottery ticket thang came to mind, and what I wrote above is the nub of it.

Then, I had to write about it before I passed the notion on to eternity, so I had to boot up my word editor and start banging away at my computer keyboard keys (which are somewhat tender from previously banging away at my piano keys from last night).

AppleScript is why I stopped getting and replying mail from the Thomas e-mail discussion group. I don't learn much from the conversation that happens in that venue. I don't think anybody else does. It's just a weird way of communicating with people about stuff that most people don't really wanna talk about, because they don't think about that kind of stuff, they just live it unconsciously and don't even know why.

Spending my time reading the mail from the AppleScript e-mail group seems more profitable in a way I understand well. Many of the members of this Apple-sponsored group are so knowledgeable about this technical body of knowledge they write books on the subject.

The list is moderated or at least monitored by the same Apple employees who maintain the current AppleScript code to keep it in conformity with other programing languages supported by Apple (including how it relates to Windows), and how it interoperates with deeper levels of the total operating system whose roots are based on the BSD variation of Unix.

The Apple employees seem to have the final word about the changes that new technology (like the recent upgrade to the 64-bit system called Snow Leopard) brings. None of the list members really argue with them. The apparent fact that they can initiate a change in the AppleScript code keeps the technical information on the straight and narrow, and tacitly provides the final authority of any moot questions

This is very usable information that I can employ to operate my computer more efficiently in every way. As a matter of fact, I've learned more about computer hardware than I ever knew previously since I started this quest, and that's as an aside to what I'm learning about how software gets the hardware to do what it's told.

It's a good thing for me that I didn't realize what learning the Microsoft scripting language or BASIC would have done for me. I might have never switched back to Macs. A more pro-active reason I switched back was because Apple itself changed the root level of it's operating system over to a Unix-based format. It was the smartest move they made since they almost single-handedly created the home computer. It's not only why I thought seriously about changing back to Macs from Windows, it's why I tried to use Linux a few years ago.

My personal drive to learn things this way probably comes from having been raised by school teachers who always brought their work home with them, and it was like I never got otta school when I came home. Showing off something I learned on my own was the only way I could get the attention of my parents.

It's the same reason I became an expert on reading Tarot cards and palm reading and using astrology. It's why I instituted the I Ching as an oracle through visualization techniques that made it a permanent part of my mental faculties. It's for-the-other as a medium of exchange for people I wanna project upon to get to know more about who-I-think-I-am-is.

I stand under these systems for speculating about things (employing objects of the woe-to-the-id [woe-ill] {world}) in order to understand them, but I-am-does-IT-for-the-other. It is for-them that I sacrifice my ti-me as allone.

I love writing tossed word salad. Especially using hyphenation to break woe-ids up into possible root causes. I've only been doing this since I started using a computer to write, and only then, mostly, when I got online and started composing responses to supposed others in discussion groups. It continuously amazes me that they also assume I'm here too, and compose responses to my compositions.

I may end up forgiving my father for not letting me take Latin classes in high school. I finally understand it was because he ate lunch at the faculty table with the old biddy who was the school librarian and taught French and Latin. They were using me as a ping pong ball to toss insults back and forth to one another in a flirting game. He loved to flirt. I learned from him, but my bark is much, much worse than my bite.

I've never understood until recently why women would take my flirting seriously. I don't. To me it's just a way of passing time and getting what I want from females. I've heard the saying that "Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned!" Who hasn't? Why I didn't get it when I didn't take the flirting I did as a habit my father encouraged seriously, is another question that's finally been answered.

I know exactly what I have to look out for when I start flirting with a Scorpio woman, and don't really mean it. A really sore asshole. That's what I have learned to expect by employing false sincerity to lure a female into doing my bidding in the hope that their act of passion will bring passion in response. Fat chance. I can be a cold-blooded snake-in-the-grass without knowing that's how I've reacted until I get chopped off at the knees for my stupidity.

For instance, say I go to some restaurant with a woman I like. It's a popular restaurant and we both know we'll be lucky to get the kind of service the restaurant got popular for having. Just assume, in order for me to make my point, that the server is a young person who can't be all that happy they're being used by everybody they serve to get what they came to the restaurant for, and I know how to get that person to come to our table as often as they can invent an excuse to do so.

I know all I got to do is say, "Lemme hold yo' hand a minute, chile, I wanna see if you're gonna drop dead before you bring back our order?" Very seldom do I get a refusal. They stick their hand in my face, and I take hold of it as if to tell their future life in a rare moment in the roar of the crowd and the smell of the greasepaint. I am is the opportunity that knocks.

I'm gonna tell 'em just enough to pique they curiosity. Remember me writing about how when the pearl that I am is came possessing three gifts? Will, Curiosity, and Memory? When I evoke a person's curiosity we are connecting a the soul/sole level. I'm not reaching for some persona level distinction, but FOR that which reaches the deepest kernel level of they ex-is-tense. Who cares what the personality "thinks" about it?

What if the woman I like well enough to be at that restaurant with her is the jealous type and can't understand why I'm doing what I know to do to get us the best service possible? I know the answer in the most intimate way possible. I was there. She went batshit crazy. That's what! And, it won't the first time or the first woman I've had go there on me and break bad! Damn! I was showing off for her. I'll never understand women.

I do know this much. If a woman won't let me show off for her, then I got no use for that woman. I'm not going to stop using my gifts and talents of gnosis in order to satisfy some within her own makeup that she doesn't understand nor try to. I'm still sorta on the prowl for a woman to show off for, but my anima may just not put up with her for my sake.

All of this because as a little boy I wanted to be just like my daddy. My daddy flirted with women as a way to communicate intimately with them, whether he followed through on any opportunities that might have arisen was not something I understood would dictate my future. It did though, and it's because I mimicked him in blind faith, I guess all the blame is mine.