Unforgettable

I read on the internet that all families are psychotic. I guess that includes the family I came from, and the children engendered by me. That makes sense to me for some reason. The idea of families is a little weird when I consider the notion. The concept of having family groups seems to be about procreation where some of homo sapiens more lauded attributes derived from, whereas most of the problems families have has to do with procreation. Taurus opposed to Scorpion. Procreation vs recreation. That's the axle my subjective psychotic wheels turn on when I consider family in opposition to being on my lonesome. As I have been for nearly thirty years now.

That's a strange term isn't it. "On my lonesome." On my lo-ne-so-me…

There was a real turning point in my mental life due to an out-of-body experience I had during an intense LSD-25 experience I had. It was a very strange night. My putting the acid in my body on that particular occasion was sort of like accepting a dare. I took two four-way hits of d-lysergic acid diethyl amide simultaneously. Enough for eight people to fully experience what it's like to trip out on acid.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lysergic_acid_diethylamide

An odd beginning for this experience was that we were gathered in a house down by the Tar River that a rock band i knew of was using for rehearsal. There were instruments all the front room and some people started using the microphones to talk to each other from two or three feet away. Somebody handed me a microphone and asked me to sing.

I wasn't getting off on the acid yet, but as I started to talk through the microphone my voice was garbled and I began doing the vocal exercises I use to clear my sinuses in order to sing well. I reckon while I was doing that the people there got fascinated by the sounds I was unintentionally making to clear the resonating chambers behind my nostrils.

It was during this part of the deal that the acid did start to distort my ordinary reality, and the sounds I was making took over my intention to sing along with the group, and I started exploring the weird places the acid was taking my voice. It wasn't long before I forgot what I was doing, and went to sit on a sofa across the room. Strangely, I was left alone when I did this.

Sitting on the couch all by myself I started feeling some tingling at the crown of my head. I closed my eyes to concentrate on finding out what caused the tingling. As soon as I focused my attention on the top of my head from an inside perspective, I saw a formation of white-looking clouds in my imagination that quickly changed in a huge swirl of white light similar to a torus or donut with the circle spinning to create an uplift in the empty center.

About that same time I heard my inner voice saying, "You are becoming one with the Creator" repetitively, and the vacuum in the torus was lifting me up into it, and when I left my body sitting there on the sofa and entered the white swirling light my inner voice finished the sentence with, "You are becoming one with the creator… of your own illusions."

Suddenly, I wasn't in the cloud of swirling white light anymore. I was in the same room. I could see my body over there on the couch. I wasn't in it. On the floor in front of the sofa toward the middle of the room, with the party continuing all around them were two college girls sitting on the floor chatting about their boyfriends to each other. I was a foot away from them, and they didn't act like I was there.

I guess my curiosity got the best of me. I knew I was out of body and the girls couldn't "see" me, and so I asked the closest girl to me if she wanted to have secretly have sex since nobody could see that going on right in front of them. The girl never stopped talking to her companion, but in the same voice she used to speak she said to me, "felix, leave me the hell alone. Can't you see I'm busy?" Eeeek! There were two of her. She had a doppelganger, and yet it didn't seem so odd to me that her doppelganger was talking to my doppelganger while my body was plainly visible over on the sofa at the sa-me ti-me her body was having a chat.

My return to my body sitting on the couch was not so spectacular as when I first left it. Sure, the swirling white light was still swirling along, but I seemed to be in a hurry to get back to my body, and when I returned to beta consciousness mumbling again and again "Everything is nothing but the idea that it's something, and could be anything at all." I understood why it was in a hurry. It was trying to remember what the sentence meant.

It meant that I realized in that brief out-of-body sojourn I had been taught the principle of projection, and I didn't wanna forget it… ever! It's the principle of projection that ex-is-t as the ground-of-being that led to the revelation that provided me with gnosis.