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I think certain easily influenced people like me who suddenly find themselves singing the lyrics to the Beatle's song "Yesterday" wouldn't be surprised to find out that just as often they awaken to themselves singing "Tomorrow" from Little Orphan Annie with the sa-me emotionally-met intensity. With me it might depend on how many times a day I forget a word that's as familiar to me as the palm of my hand.
It usually doesn't take that long for me to remember the word. It's easy when I'm at the computer because i just open up Google and start typing every word I CAN remember that's a simile to the word I'm trying to remember, and it always works. If I could afford an iPhone that had a search engine built into it and an internet connection, I would be much less hesitant to go out into the public arena again.
If I really wanted that to happen I could make it happen. I'd have to give something up FOR it to happen. There is not much left to give up. My resources for any additional income other than my Social Security check seem to be drying up. C'est la guerre! There is a guy(?) on the AppleScript list from France that seems to be a regular contributor in regard to technical topics. The way he uses the word "for" when he writes seems to clarify FOR me the way Sartre's book Being And Nothingness was translated.
One of my most enduring needs is to know "what for"?
¿Por Que? I particularly like this Spanish (maybe it's Spanish) expression. For why? It reminds me of a two-year old during their "NO!" phase of early childhood. Not only do children have to learn to say No., they also seem to be taught to stop asking "Why?" Why does that seem so sad to me? Because I never learned to stop asking why, and it's a bad habit.
It seems a little regrettable that people stop asking "Why?" when they're fairly young. It needs to be enforced and made true well before puberty. If not, then asking "Why?" possibly continues it's association with saying "NO!", and that can be a real drag for-the-other when one's entire outlook revolves around "What's in it FOR me?"
I should know. How could I not know? Who could possibly be more selfish and self-centered than a double Taurus with his Mercury in Aries? I understand this better now than I did when I am was not yet strong. Strong enough to yield in the face of a stronger mojo gnowing the end will justify the means. Retreat is a strategy from which one may recover and launch a counter attack, not all out flight and total abandonment of the field. I know the difference because I'm thoroughly experienced in resorting to both.
It's not so difficult learning the advantages of living as a shamed man (shaman). Making it work can be quite another. It's like a prison that one only wants to visit, not be-co-me a permanent resident of. Shamans always seem to live out on the fringes of the towns they serve. Usually by themselves in some out of the way place that can't be seen from the paved road. The most stealthy ones don't need to move around or see people face to face to practice their craft.
There are advantages to that most wannabes can't fathom and no reason why they should. What's reason got to do with it? People who are condemned to believing in reason disavow the usefulness of being unreasonable as a source of power. Where the hell is that supposed to get you in a polarized binary universe. I am doesn't use the lesser species as familiars when there are lots of sleeping giants stumbling around begging for a "real" direction in their lives? If they're useful to my nefarious purposes (or not) seems bound only by the limits of my subjective imagination. Nobody knows.
The social problems encountered along the way usually happen when I am is confronted by those who accepted whole-heartedly previous to puberty that they should stop asking "Why?", and enhanced and glorified in it's graven imaged place "Just say no!".
Chorus:
Sign Sign everywhere a sign
Blocking out the scenery breaking my mind
Do this, don't do that, can't you read the sign
http://www.fivemanelectricalband.ca/signslyrics.html
I stopped communicating on the Thomas list because it not only became less than useful ti-me-wise, but because the members who actually participate seem caught up in the history of the signs they're studying rather that the spirit of what's wot. If I'm gwine study the history of signs there are better mediums and more interesting, progressive people. Mostly, however, it was the ti-me deal. For a retired person who doesn't have any other appointments than for the doctor's office, I sure seem to be pressed for ti-me.
I got three or four things going in my life now that all need a lot of gardening to keep them in the air. My latest adventure or quest is associated with neurolinguistic programming, which openly seeks to use specified techniques using involving hypnosis to program human beings instead of machines. This has been the main theme of my quest no matter how many side roads I've taken. With the real quest not to program others, but to program myself.
It took a long ti-me for me to comprehend how and what to focus my limited attention span on. It probably took almost that long to understand my attention span was limited. When I did, I also recognized which P's and Q's I needed to mind, and that seemingly simple realization nullified (made extraneous baggage of) many of the rules of conscience I had previously elevated to the status of having their own prayer nook; signs, candles and all.
Extending the self-programming bit has required new portals FOR insight. Learning to play the scales on piano is self-explanatory to me. It's a way of organizing a life ti-me-s worth of acquiring musical signatures to claim as my own. I'm learning to play the piano as a way of studying music theory, I suppose, but FOR a primitive, Grandma Moses sort of artistry rather than the fine art of Rembrant. It's just a placeholder, soon forgotten. A "This too shall pass." sort of deal. Music is a very scattered, collage of misinformation in my life. Learning and practicing the scales daily sets up a housecleaning dynamic that I hope to integrate all the music things in my life around. I'm pretty much just doing it.
My newest project, and one I may or may not get anywhere with, and yet can't really lose by trying is learning as much as I'm able to about Applescript. It's a little like the musical stuff I've haphazardly stored in memory on a pay as I go basis. I'm learning to use the Circle of Fifths just like I learned to use the Zodiac I relegated to a life of it's own in my mind's eye via a learned visualization process. The equivalent of an installation application on a computer operating system. This can't be coincidence, but I don't know how it's intentionality might have ensued.
On the other hand, it's a little like the reasoning behind building a place on some land my parents gave me. I had been through two divorces. There wasn't much to be divided, so I just gave them everything. It's all they got, and most likely all they'll ever get. Still, I had stuff that was important that I had to keep around, and it was scattered all over my relative's houses, and in their way.
My youngest brother had started building him a house on the lot our parents gave to him at the sa-me ti-me after divorcing his first wife, and it was easy to see that it was giving him a single space he controlled to collect all his baggage and put it in that one place. It doesn't bother me to be a copycat. I learned everything I know by doing it myself. His work inspired me to build my own place, if nothing but a shack with a door I could lock to keep my stuff in outta the weather.
The object of my studying AppleScript with the hope of learning and using it on a fairly competent basis is to get all my digital awareness located centrally and peppered with the little bit of knowhow I've accumulated over the last twenty years. It goes back much further than that if I were to include the electronics schools I completed in the Navy, and the electronics classes I took at the Community College. I got digital and electronic smatterings all over the place.
This can't not help with my attempt to program people and ultimately my own damned self. This is not about the content of my experiential database as much as about finding and adopting a more useful system for using that content FOR the fulfillment of my own intentions. What the intentions themselves are FOR is another matter, but one thing is for sure, it is not about my future prospects here at the Earth school.
The formerly mentioned content (baggage) can be directed and managed by a competent stage manager once the show has wowed them and I am is rolling in dough. I just don't yet know how I am is gwine get to do it pro bono as a friend of the court?
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I do not attempt to tell the God's own truth here because I don't know what the truth is or hardly ever. I try to capture the drifting thoughts that randomly appear in my imagination for reasons I may not understand. I don't know if the content I capture with these words is true or false. The Comments settings are turned off to prevent me from having to defend what amounts to little more than fanciful, sometime crude speculation. Great moments in our lives never return.
