Earth-Where Angels Come To Learn Of Paradox

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I read this article on how these European countries are erecting huge antenna arrays in the Chilean desert about 16,000 feet up on a plateau that has extremely dry air:

http://www.wired.com/wiredscience/2009/09/alma-telescope/

There are pictures at this web site that show how utterly desolated this part of Chile is. I can't imagine a reason many people would have for going up there except for some huge government-sponsored project like this. I have my own silly reasons for why all this space exploration came into being. They're looking for aliens, but the aliens they're looking for are already here.

The homo sapiens looking for aliens are themselves the aliens they're expecting to show up here from outer space. Is there something worse than us out there in the deep silence? Could be that's the reason so many different types of aliens seek refuge here on planet Earth? They co-me-d with Earth just like I'm led to believe I did through my remembering vision, but deep inside, each of us appear to dread that is refuge will also pass. The gnostics of all ages have gnown this. No rest for the weary:

86 Jesus said, "[Foxes have] their dens and birds have their nests, but human beings have no place to lay down and rest."

http://users.misericordia.edu//davies/thomas/Trans.htm

I've written for forty years about my remembering vision. I remind you that I had committed myself to the insane asylum previous to experiencing "having" this vision. Occasionally, I think betraying my intended life by shame (shamed man = shaman) was required for me to have the vision at all.

I had to give up all my chances of living a normal life if I wanted to understand life. I had to decide against taking my caretakers attitudes and so-called knowledge as my own to be-co-me my own person. It was up to me to decide for my family that my weirdness would have embarrassed them worse than my not being there, and I would have been forced to become what they needed me to be from reading fairy tales and nursery rhymes. This is one of the "old, old stories."

55 Jesus said, "Whoever does not hate father and mother cannot be my disciple, and whoever does not hate brothers and sisters, and carry the cross as I do, will not be worthy of me."

http://users.misericordia.edu//davies/thomas/Trans.htm

I can't imagine my daughters will accept my lame excuses for not fighting with their mother for custody. Through no fault of their own, they deserted me. Both of my daughters from my second family have a child of their own now. They will have to become what their children want them to be for their children's sake. They will do so in a half-assed manner because of me and their mother. That's one thing for sure I will never have to explain myself to them about. My children's dead grandmothers made sure of that. Both of them have gone through their own divorces and have other naymes, yet their mother still calls herself by my nayme. None of them know why for sure, but I do. No blame. I had thirty years to figure it out. Hell, in thirty years, even I ....

A woman (I guess) named Isabella who I've communicated with on an e-mail discussion group for 5-10 years has provided me with a lot of the incentive for insight I've used for writing what shows up here in my blog. One of the things me and this person share is a fondness for the writings and observations of Carl Gustav Jung (who s/he adamantly claims I misquote and don't have a clue about his intent, of course). She's probably right. I only admire the now deceased Jung as a fellow seeker. All three of us could be tragically wrong.

What this woman and I don't share is gnosis. I just assumed she had it revealed to her and would have accepted her claim as plausible except for how she has a habit of accusing other people of not possessing it. Maybe they do or maybe they don't. Who am I? She betrays the lie of being imbued with it herself by projecting her apparent lack of it via her accusations.

I like communicating with this impossibly rude bitch because she's such an unconventional liar. Fortunately, not as grandiose a liar as I'm captivated by like my ex-wives, otherwise I'd fall head over heels in love with her like I have with my children's mother. I can't do anything about what she chooses to reveal by projection. It's not my job. I like swapping insults with her. She has been useful to me without intending to. She brought my attention to fully focus on the term "paradox" and I appreciate as one of those "gifts that keep on giving" for me.

Astrologically, it's almost certain that one of the principles I came to earth school to learn was how something can be what it is and not be what it ain't simultaneously. This principle is scattered all over my natal chart. Starting with the opposition of where the Sun was in relation to the Sign that was rising on the eastern horizon of the earth at my first breath.

In astrology, a native's life goals are represented by the principles of the Sign and House the Sun occupies at first breath, but the daily, mundane goals and very personality is dictated by the attributes and qualities of the Sign and House on the eastern horizon of the Earth.

I was born just after sunset on a Thursday down in mideastern Mississippi to people who were born and raised there in families that had been their since the early land grants when Mississippi was part of the Louisiana Purchase. They moved here to North Carolina when I was two years old. I suspect neither of them had ever left Mississippi prior to that momentous decision. I supposedly had around twenty aunts and uncles, but I barely knew only a few of them and my cousins hardly at all.

All of my inauspicious beginnings were a paradox. Starting with the astrological fact that my life goals and my day-by-day goals (and personalities) were almost exactly opposite from each other. Adding or taking away from one did the opposite to the other. It seems like the one thing that I keep ignoring (to my detriment) is that the Sun was not only in the Sign of Taurus (as was the Moon), but it occupied the House of Virgo. I keep exposing my own dishonesty. Like my e-mail lady friend, I betray myself by projection. Who don't?

I had to stop going to the blue plate special waffle house I ate breakfast at for a long time. I broke away from going there most because I realized that I had surrounded myself with a rather large group of Neo-Conservatives that act one way and do another. People who do that are not unusual at all. It all come to a head during the last couple of years prior to the last Presidential election. They couldn't believe they were an actual minority, even in North Carolina where they've carried the day for the past decade or so. It hasn't always been that way, but their prejudice has been as far as I know since I've been born.

I talked with this guy called Mike off and on at breakfast at this place for nearly twenty years. I knew how he was, but I kinda thought that despite our differences in philosophy we were sort of like friends. As time passed, I began to realize that his interest in me was that he didn't understand how I could be so casual about how the government was taking over all our lives. I wondered how he thought it could not, since we are the government.

We drifted apart during those two years leading up to the Presidential election. He bragged about how good a job Bush was doing in the White House. Well, I couldn't just sit there and listen to that without comment, so I took my crossword puzzle book to another place to sit. Just before the election he had a massive heart attack. A couple of weeks ago he had a heart attack while he was driving and had a wreck that seriously hurt a woman and her children. They say he was dead before the wreck, but I'm not so sure. He appeared to be a bitter man.

I gotta be projecting, so I guess I am is a bitter man too. Maybe that's what Mike and I had in common, and it didn't have anything to do with our politics. He was a rich man the latter part of his life, and a community leader who understood the ins and outs of local politics. We couldn't have been more opposite.

I apparently took an unconscious vow of poverty when I was much to young to make such a decision. I've always made decisions I was too young for, but why would I not? That's just how it goes when a person has the planet Mercury parked in Aries when they're born. I take chances. I start wars for the fun of it because I think I'm immortal. I am actually is, it's just the body it made for itself isn't. What a drag, man. How else can a person know they've gone far enough if they haven't already been too far?

Aries is one interest astrology Sign/Greek god to study. Especially if you keep finding yourself intrigued by similarities in what the archetype Mars/Ares behaves in Greek literature. I not only have Mercury in Aries, but Saturn too. One of the strongest indicators for Aries in my natal is that the Sun had only crossed over from Aries to Taurus a mere two celestial minutes previous to my birth such that it's placement is officially Taurus 0˚02". If I had been born two minutes earlier I'd be an Aries and the Arian attributes would be leading me to my life goals instead of stodgy Taurus.

Either way, and in any case, it's not my fault the world is the way it is at any given moments. I don't even have power over my own situation, much less those of another. It hasn't helped me to win friends or influence people by being so stubborn, but you try to be flexible in temperament with your Sun and Moon in Taurus AND with a Scorpio rising. All fixed signs in aggressive Cardinal houses. It's not easy being translucent, yet emerald green to the core.
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