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I worked on some fishing boats. Shrimp boats mostly, but some charter boats, and I was in the Navy for six years, and most of that time was stationed on a ship. I was raised within fifty miles of the ocean and closer. It's not like I particularly like boats and water, they're just a part of my life that I haven't rejected yet. I haven't spent any time on the ocean for years now. I guess that part of my life is over.
Lots of the various parts of my life are over. Marriage. Wives. Children. All gone. No blame. I was never a very competent lover, father, or husband. Things just never went easy. I liked being with those people. I even liked being married. Most of the problems I had with it was about money. I have never been very ambitious about money. Damned shame too.
About the only other activity associated with working to get money that fired me up was when I learned to weld pipes. Welding is actually the only-est trade I ever mastered, but once I did I moved on. In my opinion, anybody who masters anything can master about anything else if there's time.
What I started to write about was how little all that means to me now. I'm a little surprised that all my old war stories have taken their place in the past, and I don't write about them as much as I did earlier. I thought my stories were the basis of my individuality, but I was wrong. When I finally realized what the true basis of my individuality rested upon, my adventure stories paled by comparison.
Another part of my life was more subtle in the way it occupied the time it did in my contemplation of my life. I've spent about three or maybe four hours today watch the black history genealogy shows today. I'm not black, and never have been that I know of, but my ancestors owned black slaves, and fought in the Civil War to keep them. I came along about the time that particular era in history would come to a turnaround.
I watched these shows even though it was my ancestors who were the villains. At least I was able to hear the stories from the other side of the tale. I know a lot more about the Reconstruction period that took place after the war. There were handed-down family stories about what happened then.
I wish I have the curiosity and dedication to learn as much as possible about my family's genealogy. I know myself pretty well, though, and I'm pretty sure I'm not going to try any harder to find out about it in the future than I've tried in the past. It might be interesting, but the history I'm actually interested in goes back for billions of years, and it was revealed to me already. Reaching for what I find there is all I have ti-me for any more.
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I do not attempt to tell the God's own truth here because I don't know what the truth is or hardly ever. I try to capture the drifting thoughts that randomly appear in my imagination for reasons I may not understand. I don't know if the content I capture with these words is true or false. The Comments settings are turned off to prevent me from having to defend what amounts to little more than fanciful, sometime crude speculation. Great moments in our lives never return.
