Polarized Dual Fates

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Its discouraging to see the weather report and the temperature for the next seven days is not going even up to 50° F (10° C) during the daytime. What a drag, man. It's been that way for a couple of weeks now. Sure, I knew it's winter, but the average temperature for this time of the year around this part of the country is over 50°. We usually get a little break from the cold weather for at least one or two days a week. Not with this purported Earth temperature rising. I've looked forward to that.

I went for a longer walk than usual this morning. Believe it or not I did it for my feet's sake. My feet are getting to be a problem like my hands are. Troublesome. I have to walk a ways before they loosen up and start to feel normal. Of course, normal is not what it used to be, and never has been.

I pulled the band-aids off my fingers where I cut them on the mandoline slicer. The cuts seem healed enough now that I don't need to cover them up any more. those fingers really feel strange when I type or play my piano. The band-aids kept me from feeling the keys on both keyboards. It's just too bad my hands are dying and becoming useless.

Having to deal with the pain in my hands makes me wonder about how my not being able to use them so proficiently as in the past will affect the eye/hand coordination in my brain. Maybe that will be the first place the senility shows up. I probably shouldn't have paid so much attention to the articles the neurologists wrote about the results of people having their brains damaged by accidents and such.

Rainey came by for a visit last night. That man has a lot on his plate these days. His ex-wife and the mother of his children died suddenly from a blood vessel popping in her brain. It was totally unexpected and unprepared for. His ex-wife was her mother's only child. It's probably a good thing she and her husband are rich since they don't have any other children to look out for them in their dotage. She's bringing law suit after law suit his way.

I kind of know how that feels. I have three children, but they don't even know me that well. Surely not well enough to empathize with the problems of old age. I oughta done mo' bettah at being married with children that I did. No blame. My natal astrology chart suggested it would happen this way.

I was a little surprised that Rainey didn't understand my rap about projection the way I thought he would. I guess it's difficult for anyone to understand why I'm not so invested in "truth" the way others are, and the way I was until a decade or so ago. I stopped trying to tell the truth when I changed the settings here to not allow comments on what I write. As Rainey pointed out, what I'm doing here is a monologue, not a two-way conversation.

Maybe what he don't take into consideration about my outlook on projection is that I don't believe anybody is what they project on other people. What a person accuses other people of being like is themselves, but they themselves aren't themselves either. They aren't what they label themselves to be any more than anybody else they label is. People aren't abstract constructs even if they "think" they are.

I don't know if I wanna write about this too much. I have a tendency to be-co-me what I write about for a while. By thought alone I've made myself into all possible things, but as a homo sapiens I'm also possessed by the same innate flaw other homo sapiens are conflicted by, the fact that none of us can realize our own subjective possibilities in real ti-me.

I may have begun formulating this notion when I became aware of the cognitive principle of projection. That happened during another vision I had around the same time as when I experienced my remembering vision. Projection, however, wasn't an invention of mine like the species flaw is. I write "is" because I don't know of any body else making this particular claim, and I'm a fool to claim it myself.

That means I have to defend that claim, and I don't particularly wanna. Whenever I use the term "defend" these days I seem to immediately reference the Jung quote about what religion is:

"Religion is a defense against the experience of God." ~ C. G. Jung

http://www.minnesotareads.com/2009/04/the-power-of-myth/

What really catches my attention in this quote is how Jung states "defense against". That phrasing pushes me toward considering any thoughts I express defensively indicates what "God" is to me. It doesn't specify any particular form or fashion "God" has to fulfill in order for me to defend against it. It seems like to me it's pointing out that whatever I defend myself again is what I'm acting like God is by that criteria.

So, how or why am I defending a claim I invented as if it is of God to me, but not so much necessarily to anyone else? Or, within their ability to comprehend if they're infatuated with so-me conventional point of view? Why are they disabled by their relationship with the species flaw anymore than I am is?

It's useless or futile for me to attempt to explain this species flaw or even to defend it's facticity against people whose only unconscious purpose for living is procreation pure and simple. Some people try to make life better for their spawn as if it's what's good for the rest of the homo sapiens also, and they'll kill you if you don't agree with them.

I don't know if I really believe evolution leads anywhere. Sure, the process is ongoing. It probably should mean that because it ex-is-ts then it does have some noble cause, but I suspect evolution happens because of the nature of the beast, and will go on and on until the beast evolution produces implodes in upon itself leaving only the void, and nothing around anymore to make something of it.

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