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This novel-in-a-month contest constantly looms in my mind. It started at midnight last night. I am publishing part of what I'm writing during this contest on my Coin Of The Realm blog instead of here in order to keep my writings separate. You can locate what I'm writing for the contest at:
http://felix-coinoftherealm.blogspot.com/
Why am I doing this contest? I've written 50,000 words a month for over five years now, if not every year since I bought my first computer in 1988. I bought my first computer specifically to use it to write. Coincidentally, I just burned the cardboard carton the Mac Classic came in yesterday. Using a computer to write what I have to say changed entirely the direction of my life. I gave the Classic away to somebody who wouldn't bring it back, but forgot the box it came in was in the attic. Burning it was sort of like burning the past. I burned most all of my journals of the past, now the box. I'm not trying to reflect some scientific truth, rather, my effort is artistic.
The odd part of this for me is that I don't have anything to say. I create things to say. I describe the drifting thoughts only I can perceive either sensorily or by abstraction. When people read the stuff I write they can only visualize what they would have meant if they wrote what they think what I wrote for their own reasons. I don't write what I write for the other's reasons. I write what I write even while knowing it will never be understood as my intention.
The remembering vision answered the eternal question, "Who Am I?", but not the why of it. Over the last thirty years this not knowing appeared to ask one specific question that individuation left unanswered: What is I am here for?
As always, the immediate answer appeared when the correct question got asked. It's the abstract body the source creates as the crown of it's evolution through being that matters.
It actually took a full lifetime to realize that I didn't have to write my thoughts down to make myself understandable to other literate homo sapiens. What the point? Such a transfer of meaningful data is not going to happen, no matter what I subjectively decide. Even if I created my graven images by carving them in stone instead of quickly eroding digital symbols, the perceiver of that engraved image can only "see" what they would have intended to convey if they had done the carving with their own hands. Me too. I can't imitate what other people think they're demonstrating for me.
Science seems just now to be getting around to realizing that evolution happens because the initiating force whose curiosity is responsible for it's imitating this or that made it's own decision to be-co-me this or that because it has no choice but to perceive what it aims to mimic from it's own point of view.
http://www.ted.com/talks/lang/eng/janine_benyus_biomimicry_in_action.html
It made me feel great joy to watch this video. I like most of the TEDtalk videos, but this one was special for me. I've been writing about my remembering vision for decades. It happened when I had just turned thirty years old during my first Saturn Return.
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I do not attempt to tell the God's own truth here because I don't know what the truth is or hardly ever. I try to capture the drifting thoughts that randomly appear in my imagination for reasons I may not understand. I don't know if the content I capture with these words is true or false. The Comments settings are turned off to prevent me from having to defend what amounts to little more than fanciful, sometime crude speculation. Great moments in our lives never return.
