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There was this body of information that was revealed to me in a vision. I didn't know what to do about it but to tell it to the world, and hope that somewhere out there someone else had something similar happen to them, and be willing to speak about what they did with this revelation. It's been a long row to hoe.
This particular revelation I call my remembering vision is just another piece of the pie. I write about it a lot because writing about it repeatedly exposes (reveals) facets of the overall me-and-thee-ing (meaning) of it or what there is about it that can allow me to shape-shift with more grace and flexibility.
After all, I am writing about being shown how and what arrived on Earth the eventually evolved into a conscious homo sapiens several billion years later, and what this nomadic monad possessed curiosity, volition, and memory to make itself via mimicry and imitation anything it's environment proposed.
I not only was "shown" what this pearl-like entity made itself into via imitation of it's surroundings, but it also could/can reach for the contents of the memory it brought with it for as far back at that might go, but what it shape-shifted itself into via imitation became part of the memory it brought with it.
I've never found a mentor who might tell me what to do with these revelations that I was willing to follow beyond what my own curiosity and volition allowed. The best results I've experienced has eventuated due to my keeping my own counsel, and that's what I think I'm supposed to do with the revelations that transfigured my inner life and my attitude toward the other world.
It has been difficult to use the contents and experience associated with the contents of these esoteric events as a database of expertise. I mean that in the same way a chess grandmaster might have to create a database of the winning strategies of winning games for the last one hundred years in order to compete at the grandmaster level of the game of chess.
Its not like what I experienced in vision was universal in scope, such as is proposed for the Akashic Records. Every aspect of the vision was related to my own evolvement, but there were other entities of like kind that I imitated and who imitated me in kind. Their biography wasn't part of what was revealed to me. If they achieved individuation for themselves is unknown to me.
Besides that, I own up to being possessed by a solipsist outlook. In my easily refutable opinion, every perception I-am-is acknowledges is merely a reflection of it's abstract truisms that could be anything else that what they're currently taken for.
I like using the "for" word since I haltingly read and reread Sartre's Being and Nothingness. I am is more than willing to concede that what it read into Sartre's intent would probably insult him into pompously dismissing any remarks I might make to indicate coherent understanding. I just like the way his English translator used the FOR word to render his original intent.
Using what has been revealed to me by physical experience and long visits in the dreamtime as a sort of personal akashic library to reach for in the same way a grandmaster would reach into their acquired database of winning moves to mate their competition seems difficult to me because in comparison to the chess grandmaster or my rheumatologist, this databased was bequeathed. It was the byproduct of spiritual conversion or "gnosis".
I didn't call my remembering vision an event equivalent to gnosis until I read a book entitled The Gnostic Gospels by Elaine Pagels. The dust cover squibs stated that the book was about some people involved in pre-historic Christianity who gained mysterious knowledge by going out in the desert on spirit quests. It appeared to be about the same sort of spirit quest the shamans of the American Indian tribes endured, and so I bought it. I don't buy many books. I seemed mystified immediately as to why I bought this one.
I was fascinated by the whole Gnostic deal as presented by Doctor Pagels in this book. I didn't have a clue that any period of Christianity had people who did this sort of thing in it. I became more and more sure that I had experienced what these people claimed as a religious path with heart existed. The Roman church tried mightily to burn all the evidence they ever did exist, but in 1945 a Coptic version was discovered in ceramic jars in Egypt.
I read and grokked the best I could of Pagels ideas before the internet and e-mail discussion groups were invented. E-mail discussion groups was the very reason I was one of the first thirty people to get an account once a group of local investors established an ISP with a local telephone number to get online with.
I was seriously interested in neurolinguistic programming initially, and it was maybe a decade or so after I read Pagels book that I stumbled across a link to a discussion group about Gnosticism. I subscribed out of curiosity, and have participated in this discussion group longer than any other discussion group I've written with.
I rebelled against authority when I reached puberty, and the Southern Baptist church indoctrination I accepted wholeheartedly up until puberty arrived with all it's powerful and unexplainable urges. I might have resolved these authoritarian issues if I hadn't been physically maimed during a high school football practice session, and I became bitter against God because of the way my cattle breeder father reacted to the news that my future as a bull might be compromised. It wasn't. I have three perfectly legitimate children I've been estranged from FOR decades.
Since I got online I have written millions of words in an attempt to resolve my bitterness with Christianity. It's like I admit in the header above, I write to capture drifting thoughts with woids (woe-to-the-id-s) in the hope of making what comes out of my mouth less damning of me.
14 Jesus said to them, "If you fast, you will bring sin upon yourselves, and if you pray, you will be condemned, and if you give to charity, you will harm your spirits.
When you go into any region and walk about in the countryside, when people take you in, eat what they serve you and heal the sick among them.
After all, what goes into your mouth will not defile you; rather, it's what comes out of your mouth that will defile you."
http://users.misericordia.edu//davies/thomas/Trans.htm
I am is certainly not an atheist, but not any particular kind of Christian either. I'm sorta trapped like many other people who were raised in other religious environments. To them I can't be anything else but a Christian because I was raised to be a Christian. No blame.
I have myself wrongly concluded that most people from the MidEast are Muslims. I don't mean any harm by my erroneous conclusions. I've traveled catch as catch can mostly around North America for forty years, I've gradually realized I'm identified as being a Christian by non-Christians and Christians alike whether I agree with their judgment of my religious inclinations or not.
The AppleScript word counter script that informs me of how many words I have written has become part of my writing process now. In my way of thinking, downloading that word counter might have been the entire reason I considered competing to write 50,000 words to be called a "novel" in thirty days. I changed my mind about the contest, but kept the idea of counting how many words I write. 1309
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I do not attempt to tell the God's own truth here because I don't know what the truth is or hardly ever. I try to capture the drifting thoughts that randomly appear in my imagination for reasons I may not understand. I don't know if the content I capture with these words is true or false. The Comments settings are turned off to prevent me from having to defend what amounts to little more than fanciful, sometime crude speculation. Great moments in our lives never return.
