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This morning I was told again that I'd regret not taking this guy's advice to pay attention to what he thinks is important rather than listen to my own inner voice. I'm not gonna, and he'll lose faith in me again. He always loses faith in me. It's rather predictable.
I don't know whether to feel emotionally wounded that I wasn't emotionally met or no. Air signs. Whatta ya gonna do? It's always a snowball in hell with their dry wit. Do they All wanna be John Wayne/Clint Eastwood hero types or die trying?
I was fairly true to my new decision to attempt to follow a vegetarian diet yesterday at the Thanksgiving feast. At least I didn't eat any of the dishes that obviously had meat in them. The problem with me following a vegetarian diet is that I do most of my own cooking, but I don't like taking all day to do it. It's my own impatience that causes me to eat pre-processed foods.
What I'm eating in the place of meat isn't much better than what I was eating. Cole slaw and prepared salads I get at the deli section. Still, I owe it to myself to try. I figure I might do better eating less food altogether, meat or no meat. I've read a bit and seen some programs on television about people adopting minimum diets. Rats live longer when put on a minimum diet, why not humans?
To my surprise I still occasionally find myself contemplating a remark I heard on Hardball, a TV show. The host made the remark in response to one of his guest pundits. I don't recall that remark. It was the afterthought that impressed me. He said, "Oh, you mean the guy in high school who everybody liked because he argued with and made fun of the teachers." One of the responses I've had with my reflection was a negative remark my brother-in-law made in regard to me. He quipped, "I'm just glad I didn't have many people in my classes like you."
I've been thinking about these remarks. I know I was that guy in high school. Both my parents were school teacher both at school and even when we were at home, and smart alecky remarks was the only way I knew to defend myself against their attempts to institutionalize my outlook on life. But now, I'm thinking of my behavior more as if it was just another device I used to get attention. I don't think I realized in high school that my classmates liked me for it, but now I do. With the question being: Do I have to wax negative to get the same positive response?
I called the VA Hospital at Durham today to see if I could get them to refill my old prescriptions. I was all hyped up to argue with them, but the person I talked to was calm and obviously more lucid about what was going on then me. I don't work there. I haven't checked to see if it's happened yet over the internet, but I believe this woman I talked to will see to it reliably. She didn't take no guff from me, and I doubt if she'll take no guff from the doctors either.
Today was my lucky day with the Fayetteville VA Hospital too. I got through to the appointment center and made an appointment to see my regular doctor. They had sent out a letter demanding that the veterans not come to the hospital to make appointments to reduce the chance of getting or passing on swine flu.
The problem with that is that they didn't answer my calls or hung up before I could leave a message. Bureaucracy. It's everywhere. I hate it that everybody is gonna be on the government dole, I'll be even less special if that's possible. Anyway, after waiting on hold for an hour or more an operator came online and it took about two minutes to complete the deal. The 6th of December. That's fairly quick for any hospital.
Who doesn't hate being put on hold for an hour. I do, but I sorta understand the part about keeping people outta the hospital, and not just because of the swine flu. A lot of veterans appear to use the VA as a social center where they can meet up with their old buddies. The halls and waiting rooms seem full of people who aren't their for medical attention, and the threat of contagious diseases is real.
I may be wrong, but the service there seems better since Obama got elected, and that's not the only place things have gotten better. The blacks seem a lot friendlier because they feel more equal. The election seemed to prove that they too can grow up to be President of the United States. I really hadn't thought of this aspect of true equality.
What's really surprising to me about the apparently new attitude among blacks is how they have begun to initiate the normal social greeting we have in passing. I mean by that, that they say "Hello, how are you today?" first, and with a sincere smile to go along with it. It's no longer my soul responsibility to be friendly or not on my say so. I feel weird speaking back to them. I literally feel grateful they have acted so graciously that when I return their greeting it's almost like I'm gushing. How shameless of me.
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I do not attempt to tell the God's own truth here because I don't know what the truth is or hardly ever. I try to capture the drifting thoughts that randomly appear in my imagination for reasons I may not understand. I don't know if the content I capture with these words is true or false. The Comments settings are turned off to prevent me from having to defend what amounts to little more than fanciful, sometime crude speculation. Great moments in our lives never return.
