Since this is a personal journal also, I've decided to describe how the medication I got from the VA is working. The pain is going away. I don't know if any particular part of the treatment I got today helped the most. Maybe it took all of it. My VA doctor made an all out attack on what ailed me, and it seems to have the pain I've been experiencing on the run. Yippee!
This is a huge change from that moment in the x-ray room when I dropped my hands down by my side from holding them up in the air for the side x-ray. I don't think I'm exaggerating when I say it was the most intensely painful moment of my life. I won't say how I feel now is pain free presently, but compared to that one moment I'm in ecstasy. It caught me off-guard, and I started weeping uncontrollably from the intensity of the pain alone. I've written a couple of observations recently about it being my body that weeps for itself.
I was just feeling the area of my jaw that I suspected might be aching because of a bad tooth. I went to the dentist to have that x-rayed and the tooth was fine. I told my doctor about how I couldn't open my jaw easily. She seemed real interested in my description, asked me a few more questions about where it specifically hurt, and then turned to her computer and spent a couple of minutes writing.
In reflection, I think she instructed the radiologist to do some radiation treatment specifically on my jaw too. Anyway, the feeling I had just now in my jaw where there had been a sort of tight, numb feeling there seemed to be a sort of release of tension going on.
I'm really looking forward to a good night's sleep tonight for the first time in weeks. I haven't been able to roll over and sleep on my side as usual because of the pain it caused in my shoulders. I haven't worried too much about it because I've been having plenty of REM dreams despite the inconvenience and discomfort. It's only when I can't relax enough to dream that I get concerned.
I do not attempt to tell the God's own truth here because I don't know what the truth is or hardly ever. I try to capture the drifting thoughts that randomly appear in my imagination for reasons I may not understand. I don't know if the content I capture with these words is true or false. The Comments settings are turned off to prevent me from having to defend what amounts to little more than fanciful, sometime crude speculation. Great moments in our lives never return.
