What a strange, cold, rainy, achy day. It started raining last night, and has only slowed down sporadically all day long. I went back to bed twice. I felt like I had to get my whole body under some covers in order for my body heat to dry off some the 95-100% humidity. My window air=conditioner ain't doing right by me. It's my fault. A couple of hours work would put things back in apple pie order. The temperature never got out of the sixties. Cold, grey, rainy, dank day.
The covers felt good. I only used a light comforter I keep nearby for when it's too cool to stay warm with just a sheet. I was already wearing a cotton short-sleeved golf shirt to keep my torso toasty, plus my briefs. I only covered my legs with the comforter. My bare feet had gotten cold when I was downstairs making coffee and checking my e-mail. They were damp cold from the humidity and felt strangely disembodied. It seemed to take forever for them to warm up even under the comforter. When my feet finally did get warm I kicked the covers off, and it surprised me that they felt like they were part of my body again.
Practically the entire focus of my mental activities currently is aimed toward my visit with the doctor at the VA hospital on Friday morning. With the question being: Is she gonna prescribe me some pain-killers to get me through my daughter's wedding on the 22nd or not. I'm beginning to think I'm just screwed with this arthritis thing. I've had a serious attack of it before, but it eventually went away for a while. I'm losing hope.
My situation is not getting better like it did before. When I fixed the ergonomics problem and stopped using my fingers so much, my hands and wrists began to heal. I've stopped playing the piano completely, but with angst and regret, my self-denial isn't getting the positive results it got before. It seems to be getting worse.
I'm trying to focus on getting ready to fly out to Seattle on the 19th. I've gained too much weight to wear most of the clothes I own. I'll probably have to buy some new ones to wear for-the-other. This trip is gonna cost me over half my life-savings. I ain't got much of a hedge against disaster any way I look at it. It doesn't matter. I am is ain't me.
I do not attempt to tell the God's own truth here because I don't know what the truth is or hardly ever. I try to capture the drifting thoughts that randomly appear in my imagination for reasons I may not understand. I don't know if the content I capture with these words is true or false. The Comments settings are turned off to prevent me from having to defend what amounts to little more than fanciful, sometime crude speculation. Great moments in our lives never return.
