My body cries. I kinda thought I cried due to mental or spiritual woes, but that doesn't seem to be true for me the last few weeks. The pain in my body creates the tears no matter how much mental control I exert. I guess it was my mental decisions to play through the pain that caused the arthritis to develop not just in my hands and wrists, but now my shoulders hurt worse than I ever thought possible. The muscles on the back of my neck hurt 24/7 just like my shoulders, elbows, wrists, and hands, but the pain moves. The neck muscles on the back of my head on the right side hurt anytime I try to turn my head. I can't turn my head to see what's coming from the side or rear while I'm driving. I have to turn my whole torso.
I am a dying animal. My writing that is due to the feeling that my dying as an animal has nothing to do with my abstract embodiments. It's my sense of the way of things that humans only have a certain amount of time to do what they're created for, and if they don't do it, especially due to fear, why should the spirit that created them place them in some trumped up hall of fame? This week I'm thinking humans are created to develop personalities. What else? Homo sapiens is the only species that does that as far as I know. I could be wrong. It's happened before. I too have sinned.
To suggest that the reason for humans existing at all is to create personalities feels weird. I'm exploring my new theory that we are spirits seeking a human experience rather than being humans seeking a spiritual experience. This theory is at least a week older than my latest deduction that bodies don't mean as much to the spirit that created them as the body that creates the personalities means to the spirit. Nobody knows. Aren't the body and the spirit both creators in this situation. Do these two deities create a third for the sake of ecstagony? One creates two, and those two reach back for atonement or not. Selah.
I watched some of the Olympic games opening last night. I was impressed by the opening ceremony's use of people. Technology has replaced too many people, and the Chinese showed last night what's missing in a lot of Western people's lives. Natural born Americans are not asked to participate in social life anymore. They're sort of expected to teach the immigrants what they already know, and it's actually the other way around. Nothing is being asked of me as an American more. That stopped when we became the most powerful country on Earth. Being an American is just an empty label anymore. Any immigrant from anywhere in the world can become an American, but if you're born an American, you get cheated out of knowing what it's like to be free. Immigrants don't have to obey the same laws natural born Americans get imprisoned for.
I just sat on the deck outside my front door for a while. I wanted to sit in the sun light for a while. I've been sitting in front of a computer for nearly twenty years now. The last month or so I've been hearing a strange bird call around my house when I'm out in the yard. I haven't seen the bird, so I don't know what kind of bird puts out that sound. It seems like it would have to be a large bird.
It kinda sounds like the pilated woodpecker that comes around occasionally. I thought at first it was the ivory-billed woodpecker. They're about the same size. Standing on the ground they reach over a foot tall. I live on the edge of a large swamp that meanders down to the coast. All sorts of animals come through here. Now that I can't write as much as I used to, I guess I'll be outside more.
I do not attempt to tell the God's own truth here because I don't know what the truth is or hardly ever. I try to capture the drifting thoughts that randomly appear in my imagination for reasons I may not understand. I don't know if the content I capture with these words is true or false. The Comments settings are turned off to prevent me from having to defend what amounts to little more than fanciful, sometime crude speculation. Great moments in our lives never return.
