The closer the time comes for me to get on that airplane and go to Seattle the more nervous I get. I will have to face a lot of people with whom a lot of anger was expressed in regard to my ex-wife and our children who I've haven't seen for the last twenty-five years, and a grand-daughter I've never seen or held in my arms. Then, there's the crude ex-in-laws who never liked me from the get go and treated me with condescension as if I wasn't good enough for their sibling. They were right, of course, but then again their sister gets treated the same way. In that sense she was perfect for me. Then there are the to-be in-laws of my new son-in-law who I've never met. They'll be there for their son and brother, if he has siblings. I don't know how bigoted they been instructed to be toward me. I'm sure they've been warned in some unflattering way.
My youngest brother and his wife are going with me or I probably wouldn't go, but it seems mostly to be to visit his old friend he used to be on the publishing group board of directors with. They seem to be taking this trip as a sort of second honeymoon, and I'm a third wheel with them too. I don't know why I'm going. I seem to be in everybody's way. I just wrote the daughter I haven't seen since she was five years old and told her not to be surprised if when I get there I'll buy me a sleeping bag and find an overpass to sleep under while I'm there. It may be the only place I'll feel safe and comfortable. There is a good reason why I've lived alone most of my life.
The treatments I got at the VA hospital have helped a lot with my arthritis. I can practically run up and down the stairs now carrying stuff in both hands. It's been a long time since I've been that nimble. There is still some deep pain in both forearms and my shoulders, but my neck muscles feel much better and I can at least turn my head while driving to easily see to the side and behind me.
This is only the fourth day of my taking the steroids full-strength, so it's probably gonna get even better as the medicine takes effect. I described what happened in the x-ray lab to a professional medico friend of mine, and he agreed they gave me radiation treatments. He said the treatments take a while to start working, but radiation is about all they know to do with bursitis and arthritic joint problems.
This is actually just crazy. Now that most of the pain has left me, I feel perfectly healthy. I worked hard all day yesterday. The arthritis is practically the only physical problem I have. All my blood workups turn out normal. My doctor says I'm in extraordinary health for my age. The stress test people were amazed at my blood pressure and how healthy my heart seems to be. I might just live long enough for the Singularity to happen, and then I'll live forever. What a drag, man.
I do not attempt to tell the God's own truth here because I don't know what the truth is or hardly ever. I try to capture the drifting thoughts that randomly appear in my imagination for reasons I may not understand. I don't know if the content I capture with these words is true or false. The Comments settings are turned off to prevent me from having to defend what amounts to little more than fanciful, sometime crude speculation. Great moments in our lives never return.
