Old In Days

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4 Jesus said, "The person old in days won't hesitate to ask a little child seven days old about the place of life, and that person will live.

For many of the first will be last, and will become a single one."

http://users.misericordia.edu//davies/thomas/Trans.htm

"I think of the old man approaching the child in the way of entering his second childhood and finding it familiar territory. Remembering that it had to make up it's own mind to do what it needed to do to roll over, crawl, and walk by itself, except the old man is confronted with letting go of this desire to imitate."

I wrote the above paragraph in an e-mail response. It was the expression "desire to imitate" that caught my attention and made me want to copy and paste it to for further comment. I don't have a clue what this commentary will concern. Probably to write about one of my favorite subjects. Imitation. Mimicry.

I learned everything via mimicry. I set people I admired up as a model to be imitated. I learned what I thought they knew that distinguished them from others in a positive way I admired. I adopted or created rules of conscience to guide me toward acting like I thought these people acted in order to obtain what i thought they had that would make me happy.

It took an inordinate amount of time for me to understand that being happy was not the end all and be all of my ex-is-tense. It took forever for me to learn to appreciate unhappiness just as much. I didn't create me a human body to come here and learn to be happy all the ti-me. I'm happy. I'm sad. Each in their own time. It doesn't make any difference which. I can change my own moods at will. Much less the world. I didn't come here to be moody. I just am at times. So what?

So, what's this business about getting old and reversing the process of imitating? If I come into being while passing away then this behavior (or rather the lack of it) might seem the least useful non-thing nobody would not do. I'm gonna go respond to Isabella's post and see if anything happens

Nope. Tried that and nothing much came out of it. I ended up writing about being put into a nursing home and serving as a sex object and a punching bag for disgruntled perverts.

Maybe the desire to imitate the other stops of it's own accord eventually. Imitation was very significant in my remembering vision. It was the first thing I did after I realized I couldn't go back out into space and continue to zip around the universe in total ecstagony. I don't know if I can stop imitation altogether because I brought the trait with me to Earth.

Maybe I'm just tired to death of attempting to use imitation to become more of myself as a human being. What I've stopped is to have quit imitating homo sapiens. I can't see where even the most enviable human being who has ever lived really got off on being what they were enough to where I would dedicate my life to be-co-me-ing what I dreamed up they were.