What a weird e-mail day. I'm writing stuff I don't even believe myself, except that I know it's the right thing to write in the moment. Even five minutes later the thrill is gone. I think I probably must have written as many e-mails today as the whole group combined. They'll never forgive me for that.. I glutted the market.
I've needed something to occupy my mind. It's just now dawning on me that I have an incurable disease that's gonna haunt me the rest of my life, barring some miracle, medical or otherwise. I had an old acquaintance visit me yesterday. A retired cop who imitated me hiking on the Appalachian Trail, but he attempts to make a through hike where I only walked a couple of hundred miles. He's failed to make it for the last couple of years because of injuries. Then, I heard he made it last year. All the way from Springer Mountain in Georgia through to Maine. That's a major life achievement that anybody would be proud off.
We talked out on the outside deck I use for a front porch. He had been hiking back on some of the family land down toward the river. We chatted about different topics, and then he told me what he had stopped by for. He told me I was only the third person he had told, that he hadn't actually finished the trail. He had more physical problems about three hundred miles from Maine, and had to come home. He's 66 years old. Ya gotta figure... you know? What 66 year old man wouldn't be proud he had hiked over two thousand miles (3219 Km) successfully. He already has plans for next summer. He's gonna make it this time...
I wanna pretend I don't know why he came and confessed that to me.
I disclaim knowing the truth. I don't know the truth from a hole in the ground. I make this stuff up to amuse myself. I try to capture drifting thoughts no matter their veracity. It's what I do to make time fly. I do the same thing on the discussion lists I subscribe to. It upsets people with institutionalized minds to no end. I'm innocent. I can't determine their reaction to what I write. The fools thinkc things have to be a certain way or the sky will fall in. When it doesn't, they usually fold. No blame.
I do not attempt to tell the God's own truth here because I don't know what the truth is or hardly ever. I try to capture the drifting thoughts that randomly appear in my imagination for reasons I may not understand. I don't know if the content I capture with these words is true or false. The Comments settings are turned off to prevent me from having to defend what amounts to little more than fanciful, sometime crude speculation. Great moments in our lives never return.
