I'm running out of things to say. The very notion that in truth I am is a docetic spirit who can't become human, then what I might say as a human doesn't appear to matter all that much. What the docetic creature might say if it could become human is another matter all together, and why I write this blog. Is that possible? How the hell would I know? Am I using physical bodies with their made up language as a way to communicate with myself as a docetic, inhuman nothingness?
I haven't done much physically for the last three days. It's just too hot. Over a hundred degrees for four days in a row, with today supposed to be the hottest one. I am happy I am out here in the woods instead of being in some big city with all the asphalt streets. The three digit high temps must be horrible there. I haven't turned my air conditioner on yet. I can't afford it.
For several years when I first started building this house and staying in it, the only shower I had was outside. When they brought the county water out here they made sure the water from the ground pumps at people's houses was disconnected from the county water first. I haven't hooked the outside shower up again. The whole rig I had set up went the way of all good things.
I gotta put me an outside shower up again. I need to be able to go outside when it's hot like this and take a nice, luxurious cold shower to cool off, and then stand in the shade and let the breeze dry me off. Back when i was working on the house and getting sweaty a lot, I'm liable to take 6-8 showers a day just to cool off. It allowed me to work harder knowing I could cool off fast.
023 LoveSong
That's a strange name for a drum beat. Of course, there is a lotta pounding going on when making love. I think I remember that. It's been a long time. I seem so physically removed from it I can't judge the difference between the energy it would take to make love to a woman and how much energy it would take to go out and water the flowers. It's all the same to me anymore. I found out about sex too early, and the hard way. Somehow my innocence was despoiled way before I should have known what it was all about. Time to switch drum beats
024 6/8ModernEP
It's too damn hot to play a LoveSong drumbeat. I've been trying to figure out what the EP tag on the end of the 6/8Modern means. It could be Electric Piano. Some of these drumbeats are designed for specific instrumental sounds. It's rather shocking to me that they can imitate these instrument sounds so closely. Particularly these drum beats. They sound just like all the various sorts of drums and cymbals. True, it's the kind of sound you'd hear from a really good stereo rather than live music, but it's very good.
I bought a ESQ-1 synthesizer even before I owned a personal computer in the late '80s. I figured a lot of advances had been made since the Eighties in digital electronics as far as music was concerned, but this Yamaha Portable Grand is an amazing instrument. The one I bought is either the cheapest high end product or the most expensive keyboard of the low end market.
It's not unusual for me to turn on the drum machine, select a drumbeat to play in the background while I'm writing, forget about it being there while I'm composing as much as I can, but then after an hour or so start beating on my desks the rhythm I've been saturated in for a good long time. I play just one of the drum parts and listen to how the other drum parts fit into what I'm playing, then switch to playing the part I've been listening to, and listening to the part I've been playing.
I do not attempt to tell the God's own truth here because I don't know what the truth is or hardly ever. I try to capture the drifting thoughts that randomly appear in my imagination for reasons I may not understand. I don't know if the content I capture with these words is true or false. The Comments settings are turned off to prevent me from having to defend what amounts to little more than fanciful, sometime crude speculation. Great moments in our lives never return.
