Little Boys and Big Cows

I hate to watch myself approach playing the piano so methodically. All I've accomplished in the few months I've been working at it is to have learned how to play all the major and minor scales, and the blues chords to a song I've never heard in my life called Adam's Apple. It's apparent that I'm not all that driven to reveal some hidden genius in myself. What I'm doing is should be enough to do that if it's ever gonna be done.

Sometime when I'm rotely practicing the scales I sort of "hear" other things I could play to jazz the tedium of playing scale up a notch, but I'm not reaching for them. I don't know how. If I had a hidden genius for playing the piano that was just waiting for the opportunity to pop out and show it's stuff, it would have done that. On the contrary, I do seem to have a couple of lethargic muses. We do things at there pace whether I like it or not. Since I'm not a trained musician who could at least read sheet music and play other people's stuff, I have to wait until I can figure out what I need to know to be able to reach for those extra little notes I'm not playing... yet.

In the meantime, I'm struggling with playing the scales in such a way that I end up on the right finger. I was now playing the G Major scale over three octaves and back to where I started. It wasn't my pinky finger or thumb that struck the root note I started playing the scale with. That's not supposed to happen if I do it right. I did it again, and ended up on my ring finger again. So, I stopped and started playing the scale with one hand at a time so I could analyze what I was doing wrong.

Everything was according to Hoyle on the way up the scale. It was coming down the scale that I was making the mistake. I have to strike the F# with my index finger each time and it all works out right. I discovered that wasn't happening. I have to count it out from the high G backwards.

The very next note is gonna be that F#, and I have to strike it each time with my index finger. It's the E note after the F# that I have to concentrate on. The E is the third note down from the high G, and I have to remember to play the D with my thumb to end up on the next lower G with my pinky finger. Most of the scales seem to work sort of like this with the left hand.

It irritates me to make the same mistake over and over again. I also know that if I don't stop and fix it I'll have formed a habit I'll learn to hate. This is the same process I used to become a master welder. I didn't start out to become a master welder. I learned to weld to make money to feed my family. The problem was that to get the money I needed to do that was that I had to learn to weld the procedures they required. That took a little more time than I figured, but eventually I got what I wanted through perseverance.

To get the money I figured I needed I had to be able to pass a variety of welding tests. Part of the test was either X-raying the weld to find if there were any flaws in it or bending it with a hydraulic press to see if the weld broke. If either happened, you didn't get the job. Tough world. Only so so money without a union card. I started out with a union card, but didn't like having two masters. I was too ignorant to know the difference. I like doing my own negotiating. It was chancy, but that's how I like it.

I like taking risks. Apparently, not big risks. Like climbing Mount Everest or something spectacularly dangerous. I do silly things like being out on the Interstate driving, and going one or two more Exits past where I oughta have stopped for gas. I don't do this when I have other people with me. I like to take risks when I'm alone, and if I fail, nobody will know I'm a gone Johnson for a long time.

I've been to some really remote places by myself without being rigged up for it. Mostly because I overshoot the mark. I keep chasing fly balls until I'm not only outside the ball park, but outta sight and outta mah mind. Nobody knows.

I grew up around cows. Mostly milk cows. There were five children. I had to learn not to be afraid of cows. It was a counter-intuitive process. They were huge and I was a very small human. I started milking the cows by myself when I was around ten years old. I had to learn to make those huge animals do what I told them or demand to know the reason why with a big stick. We were on the ground with the cows. Not sitting high on a horse. Two different skill sets. I don't care much for horses. I've had 'em. I know.

Learning how to handle big animals when I was a little boy may have determined my fate in life. It didn't take a genius for me to figure out that homo sapiens were animals too. It took my genius to take the risks with people I've taken in my life. Again, that's two skill sets. One requires genius and the other does not. A genius is a person who has a genie at their disposal. Genius isn't rare. Atonement is.